by Max Barry

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The Nation formally by the name of 9003

9003 was Commended by Security Council Resolution # 311

“They're taking the friends to Gold town” The Great Goblin

Category: Father Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Some
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Rare

Regional Influence: Sprat

Location: The North Pacific

OverviewDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

9003

Population16.871 billion

CapitalAngband
LeaderThe Great Goblin
Faith9002ism

Currencygold bar
Animalhuman

The Nation formally by the name of 9003 is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by The Great Goblin with an iron fist, and remarkable for its deadly medical pandemics, rampant corporate plagiarism, and unlimited-speed roads. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 16.871 billion public filth are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, although Industry is also considered important, while Environment and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Angband. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 1.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Slave to the man economy, worth a remarkable 4,825 trillion gold bars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Retail. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an amazing 286,042 gold bars, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,084,559 per year while the poor average 12,238, a ratio of 170 to 1.

Children as young as eight can be found working in factories, emergency services don't respond to trailer park fires, love is a precious butterfly to be crushed under diplomatic protocol, and the Angband XV Regiment (aka "The Goat Starers") have yet to win a battle. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. 9003's national animal is the human, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is 9002ism.

9003 is ranked 568th in the world and 11th in The North Pacific for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 14,262.96 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.

Top
1%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 10thMost Avoided: 144thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 193rdFattest Citizens: 218thMost Corrupt Governments: 220thLargest Mining Sector: 238thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 255thMost Ignorant Citizens: 340thMost Armed: 421stMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 453rdHighest Wealthy Incomes: 552ndLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 568thLargest Insurance Industry: 568thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 720thHighest Disposable Incomes: 773rdLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 837thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,127thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,306thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 1,309thHighest Crime Rates: 1,527thMost Devout: 1,859thHighest Economic Output: 1,902ndTop
5%
Largest Retail Industry: 2,215thRudest Citizens: 2,264thHighest Average Incomes: 2,286thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 3,266thLargest Black Market: 4,593rdMost Efficient Economies: 5,882ndMost Influential: 5,924thMost Primitive: 6,134thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 6,222ndLargest Populations: 9,549thTop
10%
Largest Governments: 13,086thLargest Agricultural Sector: 13,779thMost Subsidized Industry: 16,769th
Top
1%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 3rd in the regionMost Avoided: 5th in the regionFattest Citizens: 6th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 6th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 7th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 8th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 8th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 11th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 14th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 16th in the regionMost Armed: 18th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 20th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 25th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 30th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 31st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 32nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 36th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 37th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 53rd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 53rd in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 60th in the regionMost Devout: 77th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Retail Industry: 107th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 111th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 121st in the regionLargest Populations: 122nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 136th in the regionLargest Black Market: 189th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 322nd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 342nd in the regionMost Primitive: 367th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Agricultural Sector: 596th in the regionLargest Governments: 618th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 653rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 783rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in 9003, the Angband XV Regiment (aka "The Goat Starers") have yet to win a battle.
  • : Following new legislation in 9003, love is a precious butterfly to be crushed under diplomatic protocol.
  • : Following new legislation in 9003, emergency services don't respond to trailer park fires.
  • : Following new legislation in 9003, children as young as eight can be found working in factories.
  • : Following new legislation in 9003, tourists flock to see the giant stone carvings of historical leaders at Mount Rushless.
  • : Following new legislation in 9003, corporations claim the third ounce of any metal traded in a wicker-cone on the Sunday of a full moon as a charitable expense.
  • : Following new legislation in 9003, travelers often bring empty plastic bottles on Air 9003 flights to avoid the pay lavatories.
  • : Following new legislation in 9003, nursing mothers are often arrested for indecent exposure.
  • : 9003 lodged a message on the The North Pacific Regional Message Board.
  • : 9003 lodged a message on the The North Pacific Regional Message Board.

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