by Max Barry

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The Nation formally by the name of 9003

9003 was Commended by Security Council Resolution # 311

“They're taking the friends to Gold town”

Category: Father Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: The North Pacific



Population18.687 billion

LeaderThe Zombie Goblin

Currencygold bar

The Nation formally by the name of 9003 is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by The Zombie Goblin with an iron fist, and remarkable for its closed borders, free-roaming dinosaurs, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 18.687 billion public filth are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, with Industry and Administration also on the agenda, while Environment and Social Policy receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Angband. The average income tax rate is 1.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Slave to the man economy, worth a remarkable 5,607 trillion gold bars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 300,068 gold bars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.3 times as much as the poorest.

The food pyramid has been replaced with the word PASTA in bold block capital letters, a valid legal defense is 'dead men tell no tales', biological warfare is used to solve small disagreements, and skyscrapers get built in just days. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. 9003's national animal is the human, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is 9002ism.

9003 is ranked 14,608th in the world and 741st in The North Pacific for Largest Governments, scoring 29.5 on the Bureaucratic Comprehensiveness Rating Scale Index.

Most Valuable International Artwork: 5thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 129thMost Avoided: 130thFattest Citizens: 159thLargest Mining Sector: 184thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 205thMost Corrupt Governments: 240thMost Ignorant Citizens: 300thMost Armed: 305thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 442ndLargest Insurance Industry: 532ndLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 580thHighest Disposable Incomes: 660thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 685thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 725thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 830thHighest Crime Rates: 851stLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,287thMost Primitive: 1,372ndHighest Economic Output: 1,718thLargest Retail Industry: 1,917thHighest Average Incomes: 2,099thTop
Most Devout: 2,516thLargest Black Market: 2,781stMost Advanced Defense Forces: 3,048thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4,933rdLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 4,952ndRudest Citizens: 4,991stHighest Poor Incomes: 5,234thMost Efficient Economies: 7,349thNudest: 7,701stMost Influential: 8,637thLargest Populations: 9,302ndTop
Largest Governments: 14,608thMost Subsidized Industry: 17,684thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 20,308th
Most Valuable International Artwork: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 5th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 5th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 6th in the regionFattest Citizens: 7th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 7th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 9th in the regionMost Armed: 14th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 19th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 20th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 27th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 30th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 30th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 30th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 30th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 32nd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 38th in the regionMost Primitive: 44th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 50th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 96th in the regionTop
Largest Retail Industry: 98th in the regionMost Devout: 104th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 109th in the regionLargest Black Market: 112th in the regionLargest Populations: 145th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 177th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 263rd in the regionRudest Citizens: 268th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 299th in the regionNudest: 316th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 415th in the regionTop
Largest Governments: 741st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 956th in the region

National Happenings

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