The Dirty but Lucrative Affairs of A Goblinoid Merchant is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Mr Happy with an even hand, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, complete absence of social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 17.879 billion Goblinoid Merchants enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The relatively small government is primarily concerned with Healthcare, with Defense, Industry, and Education also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mr Happy's Funland. The average income tax rate is 10.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Goblinoid economy, worth a remarkable 1,437 trillion GOLDS a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Cheese Exports, Pizza Delivery, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is 80,417 GOLDS, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

The Grasshopper stadiums are open 24/7, an increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents, dynamite sales and concert audiences are booming, and international collectors know that a grease-stain on a work of art probably means it's passed through A Goblinoid Merchant. Crime, especially youth-related, is almost non-existent. A Goblinoid Merchant's national animal is the Grasshopper, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities, and its national religion is CONSUM.

A Goblinoid Merchant is ranked 165,330^th in the world and 14^th in The Embassy for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring 1,352.52 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.