by Max Barry

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The Weed-Choked Lawn of A mean old man

“Always fighting crime -- especially youth-related.”

Category: Father Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Some
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Squire

Location: The East Pacific

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

A mean old man

Population23.563 billion

Capitalthe world
Leadera tired and angry old fart
Faithforgotten

Currencycolostomy bag
Animalreally old cat

The Weed-Choked Lawn of A mean old man is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by a tired and angry old fart with an iron fist, and renowned for its avowedly heterosexual populace, ubiquitous missile silos, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 23.563 billion geriatrics are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Industry is also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the world. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient old as hell economy, worth a remarkable 8,158 trillion colostomy bags a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 346,226 colostomy bags, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.8 times as much as the poorest.

Maintaining economic growth is no laughing matter, petitioners are increasingly resorting to climbing through a tired and angry old fart's window to draw attention to their issues, politicians' financial records are locked up tighter than the nation's colostomy bag reserves, and Merry Birthday is a popular protest song despite the risk of fines and royalty dues. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. A mean old man's national animal is the really old cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is forgotten.

A mean old man is ranked 6,765th in the world and 179th in The East Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 19.36 Obesity Rate.

Top
1%
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 26thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 114thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 189thLargest Insurance Industry: 208thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 243rdHighest Disposable Incomes: 412thLargest Agricultural Sector: 569thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 608thHighest Economic Output: 669thMost Corrupt Governments: 747thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 750thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,062ndHighest Average Incomes: 1,222ndLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,226thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,315thMost Influential: 1,450thTop
5%
Lowest Crime Rates: 2,227thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,390thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,391stLargest Black Market: 2,719thLargest Mining Sector: 2,756thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 2,977thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3,249thMost Ignorant Citizens: 3,406thMost Beautiful Environments: 3,704thHighest Poor Incomes: 3,914thLargest Populations: 4,261stLargest Soda Pop Sector: 5,965thBest Weather: 6,205thLargest Governments: 6,756thFattest Citizens: 6,765thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 7,679thMost Secular: 8,510thTop
10%
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 14,050thMost Efficient Economies: 15,496thLongest Average Lifespans: 18,816thMost Scientifically Advanced: 19,055thLargest Information Technology Sector: 20,260thHighest Drug Use: 20,710th
Top
1%
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 5th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 5th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 6th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 8th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 11th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 13th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 14th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 21st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 27th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 29th in the regionLargest Populations: 34th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 36th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 36th in the regionLargest Black Market: 46th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 46th in the regionMost Influential: 52nd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 54th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 58th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 59th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 69th in the regionTop
5%
Highest Poor Incomes: 102nd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 122nd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 123rd in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 144th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 149th in the regionLargest Governments: 173rd in the regionFattest Citizens: 179th in the regionBest Weather: 183rd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 231st in the regionMost Secular: 300th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 394th in the regionTop
10%
Most Efficient Economies: 414th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 492nd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 527th in the regionRudest Citizens: 561st in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 582nd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 585th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 731st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 793rd in the region

National Happenings

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World Assembly

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