by Max Barry

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The Weed-Choked Lawn of A mean old man

“Always fighting crime -- especially youth-related.”

Category: Father Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Apprentice

Location: The East Pacific


A mean old man

Population27.7 billion

Capitalthe world
Leadera tired and angry old fart

Currencycolostomy bag
Animalreally old cat

The Weed-Choked Lawn of A mean old man is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by a tired and angry old fart with an iron fist, and renowned for its public floggings, irreverence towards religion, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 27.7 billion geriatrics are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Industry, Healthcare, and Environment are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the world. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient old as hell economy, worth a remarkable 9,583 trillion colostomy bags a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 345,978 colostomy bags, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Maintaining economic growth is no laughing matter, petitioners are increasingly resorting to climbing through a tired and angry old fart's window to draw attention to their issues, politicians' financial records are locked up tighter than the nation's colostomy bag reserves, and Merry Birthday is a popular protest song despite the risk of fines and royalty dues. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. A mean old man's national animal is the really old cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is forgotten.

A mean old man is ranked 257,254th in the world and 9,678th in The East Pacific for Least Corrupt Governments, with 1.87 percentage of bribes refused.

Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 33rdMost World Assembly Endorsements: 85thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 121stLargest Insurance Industry: 202ndLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 242ndMost Influential: 302ndHighest Disposable Incomes: 471stLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 559thHighest Economic Output: 674thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 862ndLargest Agricultural Sector: 1,021stLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,063rdMost Corrupt Governments: 1,117thHighest Average Incomes: 1,536thHighest Poor Incomes: 1,573rdLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,587thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,630thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,360thLowest Crime Rates: 2,524thTop
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,743rdLargest Black Market: 3,009thLargest Mining Sector: 3,397thMost Beautiful Environments: 3,589thMost Patriotic: 3,886thLargest Populations: 3,970thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 4,044thBest Weather: 5,279thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 6,482ndLargest Soda Pop Sector: 6,815thLargest Governments: 7,211thMost Secular: 9,382ndMost Ignorant Citizens: 9,589thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 11,311thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 12,859thTop
Longest Average Lifespans: 14,458thMost Efficient Economies: 18,936thMost Scientifically Advanced: 20,028thLargest Information Technology Sector: 22,186thFattest Citizens: 23,515thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 23,733rd
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 5th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 6th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 6th in the regionMost Influential: 7th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 8th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 13th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 14th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 23rd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 23rd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 25th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 26th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 30th in the regionLargest Populations: 32nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 35th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 40th in the regionLargest Black Market: 53rd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 54th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 56th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 66th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 74th in the regionMost Patriotic: 89th in the regionTop
Most Beautiful Environments: 109th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 129th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 146th in the regionBest Weather: 156th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 159th in the regionLargest Governments: 205th in the regionMost Secular: 297th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 317th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 340th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 363rd in the regionRudest Citizens: 389th in the regionFattest Citizens: 421st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 446th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 465th in the regionTop
Highest Drug Use: 522nd in the regionMost Stationary: 523rd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 566th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 595th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 651st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 872nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 906th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 920th in the region

World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 557 » Brotherland, Todd McCloud, Marrabuk, Plazland, Kelssek, Barfleur, ReeK, Headpat Central, FreedomIand, Iodinia, Enlil, Freedomindia, Dragonia, New Bradenia Ghost, Seri Tai Republic, Taurora, Amjedia, A Slanted Black Stripe, Kangarawa, Squarist Republic of Squaria, Unger under over, Wanabe, Abtracnt, 3 14159265358979323846264, Edmontia, Zang0, Wiranath, Talitoa, Axdel, Lingu, Azureano, Bachtendekuppen, Of Centralist Brexit, New Leganes, Ripsylvania, The Three States of Fortuna, West Nagato, Spiruvania, Arkalarius, Aeljae, ReReReRepublic, The Death Syndicate, Peatiktist, Elejamie, Fellon, Slys Paws, BearStackof2015, Roliganistan, Euricanis, Tshana, and 507 others.Trimmania, Davinhia, Bai Lung, Malayku, Chria Deau, The Almighty Country, Republic of Berzerkistan, Lanagon, Impia Aghte, Sheelberite, Firenation91, Lundenia, Lyontisia, Grossvietnam, Ridann, Drunken Seal Islands, Lurolona, The Empire of Rijelv, The Solar Ottomans, Harro Waarudho, Adavan, United China Nation, Duracell, Propwash, Rhealaliit, Slongs, Packilvania, Icelandic Imperium, Sengsara, Dreamersistan, Kyrtizhan, Enou, Narinoland, Kublam, Jamitri, Holy Alasia Orozen, Centrical Union, Lantros, Kucia, Lorynia, Janoobi Jazair, Noreds Thereneuthene, Bullpups, Southern Yugoslavia, Kagorg Bra Corna, Konneticut, Dannemarie, Federation of Knights, Techny, Great Aztlatan CommonWealth, Islandian Free States, Aihon, Rainbow Vests, Harmonic Yeetlandia, Pekweng, Komiker Mawrysharken, Mundiferrum, Samaltak True, Stellar Colonies, Layngderfleethe, Debluu, United Order Republic, Dorles, Empire of Dabiristan, CheeseBurrito, Dravida India, The Federation of Osea and Yukotobonia, Kriov, Serkin, Daenyearly, Wakeopolis, Norna Chitya, Cacnesia, Coruh, Darkfull, Oofery, Modra, Karatol-Advenra, From New World, Capave, Pizza devil cat, Order of the Saint Dumas, Neldas, Freedom Fascists, Azeel, Fontesia, Mecsherstein, Tennabroch, Kalaratri, The Armed Savages, The planet nation, Nationalist Gilgeria, Ulvesogullr, Roma IV, Ad Honorem Dei, The Great Andes, Danelaw Scandinavia, West Swedania, Busto arsizio2, Harpiatopia, Blobbo, Middle Pitburn, Taapi, Juliania Secundus, Arasakami, Endertopias, Pledonia, Adolanta, Tofoon, Isahaak, Anfair, Dahom, Under Upper Antartica, Saladass, Severuslavia, Pernoss, Shavara, Pacifist Cowards, Danares, Catlovenia, Solek, Myehn, Preat, Vessarlian, Awestre Gorend, Sandboxford, Nythi, Seratiago, Aquyia, Veterans Association, Ravaria, Brenodian, Muxxia, Nifalembria Zamingstan, Kuseropia Repubationtopia, Scaperlancobbinstan, Lilisk, Formaro, Canadian Technocrats, Libertanny, Asark, Singapore3, Thermodolian WA Mission, Auslivia, Bastalis, Comeradia, Buushi, Actionland, Brethren, East Sakhlin, Kotterstan, Secrentum, New New New Alabama, In Insulam Autem Sanguis Et Magia, Entio, Hizuru, Second Federal Republic of Colombia, Firlands, OwOUwUOwOUwU, Chorizos, British Calradia, Bonluk, Sandsepol, Constervatania, Azgatan, Sansangra, Xorvo, Caymarnia, Abethia, Mardom, Guys it literally says YOU ARE SUS, Serene Amonkhet, Styklelilere, Fenosia, Thurland, The Holy Caltro, Nakosa, Republic of Restaks, Tugboat7, Xylapan, Capartia, YSG Hermitcraft, Grand Exultia, Islamarnia, Korasonos, Nuovo Regno Italico, Eagas, Kanonenpanzer und Flugzeuge, Greater Dunlain, Her Malue, The Atlotl Archipelago, Neo-Western East Korea, Meowsle, Reov, Cymru Broadcasters, The Soviet Texas Union, Speiland, Verconia, Aztlanifornia, Yukolia, GoldenWolves, West Elyria, Navbharat reoccurrence, Utopianan, Kagunya, Frekhborlo, Kilkire, ArenaC, Federated States of Zootron, Kampf Empire, Kianhua, Colligation, Atelier Valley, Land of Corporations, Arkantis, Kurogasa, Casillo y Real, Eastern Alksearia, Ribanzi, VW53Aland, Albrook, Chalan, East Malaysia, The united republican democratic states, Small Siberia, Slonful, Fanderia, Sicilianzo, Nova Tobruk, Northern Obristan, Aivintis, Portugal Conquistador, Goodnamesarerare, Durne, Arcadiam, New khanate, RussianConfederation, The Silver Telius, Ignis Aeternus, Vaskeden, Suztand, Romanoddle Republic, Sen Jast, East Deslang, Perah, Alexandrunia, Maredita, Varhemia, Risany Tripsonia, Trikistan, Eylstadt Izetta, Khaliba, Dakaristan, Theroso, Caro1inia, The BlackCountry, Unimpirle, Tychko, Evrigenis, Flayalipte, Blobon, Kelsyth, Caesargrad, Imperial Ballirian Isleerse, Osterai, Tomasio, Tbetia, Gallisers, Alto Mare, Bogliqia, Prefstacos, BadRNG, PhantomMembrane, Kunstistan, Remsleep, Exitos, Vilender, Doulant, Purple Dog, The 7th Coalition of Alba, Rikos Isles, Xogunato Tokugawa, United Commonwealth of American States, Auravas, Rebrum, Roissyland, West Anarchic Russia, New Aetoniset, Forvistan, Kingdom of Hapsteld, Mikolicesland, South Gambier, Tenaliacity, Labavaria, The Marlands, New Tokyo-3 City, Yuruguay, Karog, Neko Girls, Luluthania, Eien no hono, Nevertopia, AuthRight Authoritarianism, Tea Jol, Bruinne, Valerite, Tassirion, Marooffox, GrandLine Sunarashu, Hosoven, Vannington, Pakitsk, Kerunskaya Imperia, North Atlantis, Nature and Industry, Arch Dornan, The Dilandian People, Aquila Romanum, JinHope Nation, Chiveland, Mozembique, Nanahara, Xanis, Kurikia, Dragenstal, Kaigi, Savage, North Bernia, Ykrein, The Free Republic of Japan, Anpania, Uniao Sovietica de Minas Gerais, Armieskezermerava, Coule Presko, New Black Earth, Nova Sachsen, Batatae, Russian Social Federation, Tunorfolk, Kylondia, Pizzapizzalandia, Soups, Eastern Hyront Scassen, RACCOOONS, Hells heroes, Rampazzia, Central Snowia, Ignorantum, Guabirotuba, Merlovich, The Feld, Lannyster, Giga Chadistan, Baiame, Mimi Isles, Greater Rostoria, The Wallenburgian World Assembly Offices, Power Guido, Republic of mountain people, Aedirus, Neprutia, Wheresia, New Zelenogorsk, Nociav, Chesstitans, Leenor, Lointland, Mestov, Unfunnystan, Adinesi, Randomskaya, Commune of massalia, Compton-Conway, Tyrosalem, Andecton, Zohaib, New Missoura, Craiman, Reino De Latine, EmpireBR, The 9 tailed fox, Roalia, Washingtonian Order, Seven Horizon, The Veaxol Peoples, Azealand Isle, Kond Mex Ethostorgel, Imperial Phoenix Terra, Frankinstan, The Old Empire of Free Democracy, NunKU, Tum Quan, Romessa, The Provinces Peruanoball, Adezilla, The golodians, Warrior United, Mariarty, North Abandonia, The Antlantic islands, Adnysia, Kaldrbuth, Duontion, Unitria, Hachikuji, Zukerstan, New Monds Mousfal, Vikiandians, Cisalpae, Lancytos, Neclorland, Amabilis, United Nation of Eire, Z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z zy, Arastona, Ami BangTanation, Vespuccina, Yomgo, Nation of man, Vallangast, New Brittannion-Rome, Grand Duchy of Austria, Alliria, Kingdom of Bornai, Sarikaya Komzin, Isole Ionie, Atlantis of the Sands, Estande, Solarhis, Shauvania, Dudleyvil1e, Gwaentrymulnuuli, Liechston, Jomsburg, Estados Italicos, Mikaelis, Actuality, Pleionia, Lyrybija, Ventralius, Avalintina, Piggy Piggy The Piggy, Gernmark, Rokaku, Vindros, Revveta, Arafors, New Frostzy, Von Duron, Yarnden, Nukeya, New Valar, New Sandsnionion, Cosmo Chile, Plantsvz, Imperial Arab, Pupslovica, Horseshoes and Hand Grenades, Anbarra, Guntmalop2, Westobity, Corizina, 13of39, Sergioica, Atrocha, Grand Federal Union, Ritelsier, Hollowstead, Reformed Worra, Clayor, Melitalcoland, United dollar, Batherland, Jiafei Product, Arknasi, Theadt, Cambodeje, Eonnysses, The Big Sad, Kavanos, Turkey Creek, Royandala, Murinian Union, Gema, Warbiland, Aryptorlsha, Ministarko, Wrangle, Eldana, Abeilla, Mar Talandek, West Latium, Lyonea, Svenesia, Anthonyland, Sourchickenbroth, Chez, DOLYKA, Lanaika, Dravida Nadu, West Pangasinan, Kinesin, Palladion State, Practicutopia, American-Cascadia, Turkish Avramite, and A Guy from Some Place.