by Max Barry

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The Weed-choked lawn of A mean old man

“Always fighting crime -- especially youth-related.”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Negotiator

Location: Slatos


A mean old man

Population22.52 billion

Capitalthe world
Leadera tired and angry old fart

Currencycolostomy bag
Animalreally old cat

The Weed-choked lawn of A mean old man is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by a tired and angry old fart with an iron fist, and remarkable for its anti-smoking policies, prohibition of alcohol, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 22.52 billion Floridians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Industry also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Education aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the world. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient old as hell economy, worth a remarkable 7,777 trillion colostomy bags a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 345,381 colostomy bags, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,912,749 per year while the poor average 31,387, a ratio of 60.9 to 1.

Maintaining economic growth is no laughing matter, petitioners are increasingly resorting to climbing through a tired and angry old fart's window to draw attention to their issues, politicians' financial records are locked up tighter than the nation's colostomy bag reserves, and Merry Birthday is a popular protest song despite the risk of fines and royalty dues. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. A mean old man's national animal is the really old cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is forgotten.

A mean old man is ranked 145,732nd in the world and 108th in Slatos for Most Armed, with 0.2 Weapons Per Person.

Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 26thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 113thLargest Insurance Industry: 208thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 240thHighest Disposable Incomes: 397thLargest Agricultural Sector: 532ndLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 598thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 650thHighest Economic Output: 662ndMost Corrupt Governments: 670thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 708thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 924thHighest Average Incomes: 1,143rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,152ndLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,194thTop
Most Ignorant Citizens: 2,079thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,204thLowest Crime Rates: 2,279thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,416thLargest Mining Sector: 2,436thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 2,846thLargest Black Market: 2,848thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 2,949thMost Beautiful Environments: 3,840thLargest Populations: 4,373rdLargest Soda Pop Sector: 5,074thMost Influential: 5,450thFattest Citizens: 5,640thBest Weather: 6,479thLargest Governments: 6,715thMost Secular: 7,414thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 8,209thTop
Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 10,677thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 13,312thMost Efficient Economies: 14,473rdHighest Drug Use: 15,382nd
Largest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 1st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Populations: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionMost Influential: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionTop
Best Weather: 2nd in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 2nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 2nd in the regionLargest Governments: 2nd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 3rd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 3rd in the regionFattest Citizens: 3rd in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 4th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 5th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 5th in the regionTop
Most Developed: 7th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 7th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 7th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 8th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 8th in the regionRudest Citizens: 8th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 9th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 9th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 10th in the region

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