The Minecraft River Valley of A Salmon Named Harold is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Harold with an even hand, and notable for its smutty television, ubiquitous missile silos, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 8.486 billion pineapple pizza enjoyers enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of a comically large fish bowl. The average income tax rate is 97.1%.

The frighteningly efficient pineapple pizza enjoyer economy, worth a remarkable 1,932 trillion IOU Cards a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 227,730 IOU Cards, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

There is a law against "filthy foreign food", the new national campaign exhorts men to "Show Some Class - Don't Sit On Your Ass", whenever pilots have to bail out the government bails out their company, and an increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents. Crime is totally unknown. A Salmon Named Harold's national animal is the Salmon, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is the questioning of string cheese.

A Salmon Named Harold is ranked 2,871^st in the world and 142^nd in The North Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 131.91 law-abiding acts per hour.