by Max Barry

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The Black Holy Dominion of A Share of Goldman Sachs

“Get me the Money!”

Category: New York Times Democracy
Civil Rights:
Excellent
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Corrupted

Regional Influence: Duckspeaker

Location: The Financial District of New York

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

A Share of Goldman Sachs

Population4.823 billion

CapitalNew York City
LeaderLloyd Blankfein
FaithBelial - Lord of Disorder

CurrencyGold Dollar
AnimalVampire Eagle

The Black Holy Dominion of A Share of Goldman Sachs is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Lloyd Blankfein with a fair hand, and remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, sprawling nuclear power plants, and avant-garde cinema. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 4.823 billion Americans enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The medium-sized, corrupt, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New York City. The average income tax rate is 93.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Share of Goldman Sachsian economy, worth a remarkable 2,099 trillion Gold Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Automobile Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 435,352 Gold Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

The nation's navy has been named the scourge of the seven thousand seas, the mood of raunchy movies is often ruined by the sound of babies crying, newspapers are celebrating Lloyd Blankfein saving over a million cats from trees, and the government is dead set on letting people rest in peace. Crime, especially youth-related, is a problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. A Share of Goldman Sachs's national animal is the Vampire Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Belial - Lord of Disorder.

A Share of Goldman Sachs is ranked 7,322nd in the world and 30th in The Financial District of New York for Nudest, with 1,115.5 cheeks per square mile.

Top
1%
Largest Publishing Industry: 573rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 609thRudest Citizens: 629thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 758thHighest Average Incomes: 914thMost Advanced Public Education: 1,006thSmartest Citizens: 1,177thHighest Poor Incomes: 1,223rdMost Scientifically Advanced: 1,262ndLargest Insurance Industry: 1,920thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,952ndMost Armed: 2,285thLargest Black Market: 2,383rdMost Cultured: 2,385thMost Subsidized Industry: 2,387thMost Efficient Economies: 2,708thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,976thMost Politically Free: 2,988thMost Secular: 3,001stTop
5%
Fattest Citizens: 3,466thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3,575thMost Inclusive: 4,157thLargest Governments: 4,162ndMost Valuable International Artwork: 4,433rdMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4,470thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4,737thHighest Food Quality: 4,818thMost Advanced Public Transport: 4,902ndMost Developed: 5,671stLargest Cheese Export Sector: 5,672ndLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 6,061stLargest Gambling Industry: 6,495thMost Rebellious Youth: 6,538thHighest Average Tax Rates: 7,304thNudest: 7,322ndLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 7,758thLargest Mining Sector: 7,782ndMost Corrupt Governments: 8,562ndLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 9,850thMost Avoided: 10,032ndMost Patriotic: 12,020thHighest Economic Output: 13,055thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 13,318thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 13,578thLargest Retail Industry: 15,363rdTop
10%
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 24,083rd
Top
5%
Most Secular: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionTop
10%
Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 2nd in the regionFattest Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Politically Free: 2nd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 3rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in A Share of Goldman Sachs, the government is dead set on letting people rest in peace.
  • : Following new legislation in A Share of Goldman Sachs, newspapers are celebrating Lloyd Blankfein saving over a million cats from trees.
  • : Following new legislation in A Share of Goldman Sachs, the mood of raunchy movies is often ruined by the sound of babies crying.
  • : Following new legislation in A Share of Goldman Sachs, the nation's navy has been named the scourge of the seven thousand seas.
  • : Following new legislation in A Share of Goldman Sachs, Share of Goldman Sachsian scientists are mixing chewing tobacco with bacon flavouring in an attempt to craft the perfect male snack.
  • : Following new legislation in A Share of Goldman Sachs, one-man canoes fitted with the latest tracking technology leave no room for one man.
  • : Following new legislation in A Share of Goldman Sachs, light entertainment shows are light on actual entertainment.
  • : Following new legislation in A Share of Goldman Sachs, surveillance cameras are banned.
  • : Following new legislation in A Share of Goldman Sachs, a punitive tax has been placed on harmful emissions.
  • : Following new legislation in A Share of Goldman Sachs, the military recognizes no difference between male and female soldiers.

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