by Max Barry

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The Turtlezogian Cult of Abbots


Category: Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Instigator

Location: The Democratic Republic of Freedom



Population2.458 billion



The Turtlezogian Cult of Abbots is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by IDK with an even hand, and renowned for its smutty television, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate population of 2.458 billion Abbotsians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Abbotsford. The average income tax rate is 91.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Abbotsian economy, worth 357 trillion Waffleses a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 145,272 Waffleses, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

The nation's soldiers are considered the best-dressed in The Democratic Republic of Freedom, eerie glow-in-the-dark cornfields give farmlands an uncanny appearance, attendance of fathers at PTA meetings is at an all-time high, and agriculture is heavily subsidized by the government. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Abbots's national animal is the bat, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is turtlezogoth.

Abbots is ranked 144,311th in the world and 17th in The Democratic Republic of Freedom for Lowest Overall Tax Burden, scoring -251.88 on the Hayek Index.

Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 3,314thBest Weather: 4,673rdHealthiest Citizens: 4,774thLargest Agricultural Sector: 5,065thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 5,070thLongest Average Lifespans: 5,162ndMost Developed: 5,253rdMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 5,294thLowest Crime Rates: 5,360thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 5,504thMost Beautiful Environments: 5,655thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 6,504thHighest Average Tax Rates: 7,078thTop
Largest Governments: 7,672ndMost Cheerful Citizens: 7,916thMost Cultured: 8,061stMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 8,218thNicest Citizens: 8,490thMost Advanced Public Education: 8,534thHighest Poor Incomes: 8,857thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 8,885thMost Compassionate Citizens: 8,955thRudest Citizens: 8,962ndMost Subsidized Industry: 9,295thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 9,645thMost Efficient Economies: 9,958thMost Inclusive: 9,987thSmartest Citizens: 10,801stMost Secular: 11,313thMost Advanced Public Transport: 11,950thSafest: 12,569thHighest Average Incomes: 13,265th
Largest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1st in the region

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