by Max Barry

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The Turtlezogian Cult of Abbots


Category: Moralistic Democracy
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: Lorania



Population5.748 billion



The Turtlezogian Cult of Abbots is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by IDK with an even hand, and notable for its complete lack of prisons, triple-decker prams, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate population of 5.748 billion Abbotsians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Abbotsford. The average income tax rate is 91.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Abbotsian economy, worth 867 trillion Waffleses a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 151,004 Waffleses, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

CEOs can't hear the term 'Fire Sale' without bursting into tears, 100-year-old politicians are now a thing of the past, crime suspects are forced to submit to blood testing, and wedding bands come in pairs to form wedding manacles. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Abbots's national animal is the bat, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is turtlezogoth.

Abbots is ranked 200,150th in the world and 43rd in Lorania for Least Corrupt Governments, with 91.08 Percentage Of Bribes Refused.

Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 4,169thLargest Agricultural Sector: 4,955thHealthiest Citizens: 5,063rdBest Weather: 5,156thLowest Crime Rates: 5,348thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 5,504thLongest Average Lifespans: 5,957thMost Beautiful Environments: 6,051stMost Developed: 6,387thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 6,530thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 7,603rdRudest Citizens: 7,672ndHighest Average Tax Rates: 7,878thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 7,884thLargest Governments: 7,916thMost Cultured: 8,081stMost Cheerful Citizens: 8,592ndMost Efficient Economies: 9,596thNicest Citizens: 9,633rdMost Advanced Public Education: 9,792ndHighest Poor Incomes: 9,882ndMost Compassionate Citizens: 10,065thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 10,764thSmartest Citizens: 10,877thSafest: 11,522ndLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 12,037thTop
Most Inclusive: 12,207thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 12,696thMost Valuable International Artwork: 12,765thMost Subsidized Industry: 13,222ndMost Advanced Public Transport: 13,588thHighest Average Incomes: 13,887thMost Secular: 15,277thLargest Publishing Industry: 16,369thHighest Economic Output: 21,033rd
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 2nd in the regionTop
Lowest Crime Rates: 3rd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 4th in the regionMost Developed: 4th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Abbots, wedding bands come in pairs to form wedding manacles.
  • : Abbots was reclassified from "Inoffensive Centrist Democracy" to "Moralistic Democracy".
  • : Abbots lodged a message on the Lorania Regional Message Board.
  • : Abbots lodged a message on the Lorania Regional Message Board.
  • : Abbots lodged a message on the Lorania Regional Message Board.
  • : Abbots's influence in Lorania rose from "Sprat" to "Shoeshiner".
  • : Abbots lodged a message on the Lorania Regional Message Board.
  • : Abbots was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector.
  • : Abbots lodged a message on the Lorania Regional Message Board.
  • : Abbots lodged a message on the Lorania Regional Message Board.


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