by Max Barry

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The Exalted Exarchy of Absentius

“Arise Absentius, to Heaven we ascend”

Category: Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Some

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: New Western Empire

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Absentius

Population5.566 billion

CapitalPraetiorum
LeaderExarchos Erythos X
FaithCelestialism

CurrencyAureus
AnimalGreat Golden Two-Headed Blood Eagle

The Exalted Exarchy of Absentius is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Exarchos Erythos X with an even hand, and notable for its prohibition of alcohol, public floggings, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 5.566 billion Absentines have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Praetiorum. The average income tax rate is 93.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Absentiusian economy, worth a remarkable 1,018 trillion Aureuses a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Book Publishing, and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 182,953 Aureuses, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Sections of the police receive paramilitary training, school teachers check the staff room for hidden webcams before complaining about rebellious students, sullen teenagers in bright orange 'community payback' onesies can be seen picking litter at the roadside, and several citizens have complained about scientists abducting their pets for experimentation. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Absentius's national animal is the Great Golden Two-Headed Blood Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Celestialism.

Absentius is ranked 9,671st in the world and 40th in New Western Empire for Most Developed, scoring 90.42 on the Human Development Index.

Top
1%
Most Devout: 1,453rdMost Efficient Economies: 1,573rdMost Subsidized Industry: 1,665thTop
5%
Largest Governments: 5,187thLowest Crime Rates: 5,799thHighest Average Tax Rates: 6,106thRudest Citizens: 6,361stLargest Retail Industry: 6,365thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 6,996thMost Corrupt Governments: 7,036thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 7,182ndLargest Publishing Industry: 7,235thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 7,482ndLargest Welfare Programs: 7,507thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 7,634thLargest Mining Sector: 8,505thHighest Average Incomes: 8,662ndHighest Poor Incomes: 8,871stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 9,055thMost Developed: 9,671stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 9,865thLongest Average Lifespans: 10,046thMost Cultured: 10,095thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 11,418thTop
10%
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 12,451stMost Advanced Public Education: 12,509thSmartest Citizens: 13,326thMost Scientifically Advanced: 14,047thMost Advanced Public Transport: 15,611thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 17,150thHighest Economic Output: 18,179thLargest Agricultural Sector: 19,505thMost Cheerful Citizens: 21,309thHealthiest Citizens: 21,314th
Top
1%
Most Devout: 2nd in the regionTop
10%
Most Efficient Economies: 11th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 11th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 13th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 15th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 16th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 19th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 20th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Absentius, several citizens have complained about scientists abducting their pets for experimentation.
  • : Following new legislation in Absentius, sullen teenagers in bright orange 'community payback' onesies can be seen picking litter at the roadside.
  • : Following new legislation in Absentius, school teachers check the staff room for hidden webcams before complaining about rebellious students.
  • : Following new legislation in Absentius, sections of the police receive paramilitary training.
  • : Following new legislation in Absentius, graffiti graces every city's streets.
  • : Following new legislation in Absentius, over a third of the seats in sports stadiums have been removed to make room for female-only commodes.
  • : Following new legislation in Absentius, the government is spending millions on renovating the public transportation system.
  • : Following new legislation in Absentius, census workers are having a hard time figuring out who is actually living in Absentius after the ban on emigration was lifted.
  • : Absentius was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Black Market.
  • : Following new legislation in Absentius, every week is blindness awareness week.

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