by Max Barry

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The United Socialist States of Adidasistan

“Adidas is only way”

Category: Corrupt Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Below Average
Economy:
Strong
Political Freedoms:
Rare

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: the South Pacific

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Adidasistan

Population639 million

CurrencyBlin
AnimalPotato

The United Socialist States of Adidasistan is a huge, orderly nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, state-planned economy, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 639 million Adidasistanians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 66.8%.

The strong Adidasistanian economy, worth 45.3 trillion Blins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Pizza Delivery, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 70,863 Blins, with the richest citizens earning 6.0 times as much as the poorest.

The nation's prisons are touted as the best weight loss programs money can't buy, the people consider response to rudeness to be an acceptable casus belli, tech-mad citizens think that the laser-powered bread-slicer uPhone App is the coolest thing since sliced bread, and search and rescue forces now accept cheques and all major credit cards. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Adidasistan's national animal is the Potato, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Adidasistan is ranked 105,982nd in the world and 4,189th in the South Pacific for Most Extensive Civil Rights, with 49.54 Martin Luther King, Jr. Units.

Top
5%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 2,777thMost Influential: 4,851stTop
10%
Most Secular: 10,096thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 12,183rdMost Advanced Public Transport: 14,821st
Top
5%
Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 325th in the regionTop
10%
Most Advanced Public Transport: 351st in the regionMost Secular: 351st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 365th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 438th in the regionMost Influential: 480th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 494th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 507th in the regionLargest Black Market: 685th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Adidasistan was endorsed by The WA Republic of Qawe.
  • : Following new legislation in Adidasistan, search and rescue forces now accept cheques and all major credit cards.
  • : Following new legislation in Adidasistan, tech-mad citizens think that the laser-powered bread-slicer uPhone App is the coolest thing since sliced bread.
  • : Adidasistan was endorsed by The Commonwealth of Phanama.
  • : Adidasistan was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Advanced Defense Forces.
  • : Following new legislation in Adidasistan, the people consider response to rudeness to be an acceptable casus belli.
  • : Following new legislation in Adidasistan, the nation's prisons are touted as the best weight loss programs money can't buy.
  • : Following new legislation in Adidasistan, the navy is chrome-plating its battleships to prevent rust.
  • : Following new legislation in Adidasistan, convicted criminals are given free limo rides to jail.
  • : Following new legislation in Adidasistan, criminals lock themselves in their mums' basements to avoid prison.

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