by Max Barry

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The Coptic Patriarchate of Al Qahirah

“Listen to the thunder shout”

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Excellent
Economy:
Powerhouse
Political Freedoms:
Excellent

Regional Influence: Squire

Location: CISB

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Al Qahirah

Population8.13 billion

CapitalAlexandria
LeaderPope Cyril VII
FaithCoptic Orthodox

CurrencyDenarii
Animalibis

The Coptic Patriarchate of Al Qahirah is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Pope Cyril VII with a fair hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, smutty television, and compulsory vegetarianism. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 8.13 billion Cairenes are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The relatively small government prioritizes Spirituality, although Education, Industry, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Administration and Law & Order are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Alexandria. The average income tax rate is 15.7%.

The powerhouse Al Qahirahian economy, worth 608 trillion Denariis a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Pizza Delivery industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Gambling. Black market activity is notable. Average income is 74,899 Denariis, with the richest citizens earning 5.2 times as much as the poorest.

Blind dates reemerge as a necessary evil in the quest for love, you need a signed affidavit from a registered psychiatrist to claim that you have crazy low prices, school uniforms are compulsory, and EpiPen sales have skyrocketed. Crime, especially youth-related, is a major problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Al Qahirah's national animal is the ibis, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Coptic Orthodox.

Al Qahirah is ranked 119,454th in the world and 32nd in CISB for Largest Governments, scoring 11.4 on the Bureaucratic Comprehensiveness Rating Scale Index.

Top
1%
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2,118thTop
5%
Highest Crime Rates: 3,643rdHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 3,805thMost Rebellious Youth: 5,605thFattest Citizens: 6,775thTop
10%
Most Devout: 12,826thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 12,908thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 15,851stLargest Retail Industry: 16,029thHighest Drug Use: 18,489thMost Inclusive: 18,980thMost Avoided: 20,847thLargest Black Market: 21,508thMost Armed: 21,658thHighest Disposable Incomes: 22,008thLargest Gambling Industry: 22,119th
Top
5%
Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionTop
10%
Highest Crime Rates: 3rd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 3rd in the regionHighest Drug Use: 4th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 4th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 4th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Al Qahirah's influence in CISB rose from "Page" to "Squire".
  • : Al Qahirah was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Highest Disposable Incomes.
  • : Al Qahirah was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Gambling Industry.
  • : Al Qahirah was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector.
  • : Al Qahirah was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Gambling Industry.
  • : Al Qahirah was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector.
  • : Al Qahirah was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Gambling Industry.
  • : Al Qahirah was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector.
  • : Al Qahirah was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Devout.
  • : Al Qahirah was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Politically Apathetic Citizens.

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