by Max Barry

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The Most Serene Republic of Alopecia Totalis

“Sanctitas per calvitium”

Category: Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
Civil Rights:
Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Average

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: Lazarus

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Alopecia Totalis

Population3.262 billion

CapitalBaldoina
LeaderBayne Klothos

CurrencyYodar
Animalwild Dachshuahua

The Most Serene Republic of Alopecia Totalis is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Bayne Klothos with an even hand, and remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 3.262 billion Alopecia Totalisians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Education, Industry, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Social Policy isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Baldoina. The average income tax rate is 47.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Alopecia Totalisian economy, worth 445 trillion Yodars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an impressive 136,509 Yodars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A faint smell of body odour can be detected at several miles' distance from the National Science Park, the government is constantly producing new maps to accommodate the continual renaming of cities, the military maintains a fierce arsenal of 'Cure Missiles', and politicians always seem to take two steps forward then three steps back. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Alopecia Totalis's national animal is the wild Dachshuahua, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Alopecia Totalis is ranked 45,620th in the world and 2,101st in Lazarus for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 2,890.26 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.

Top
5%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4,525thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 4,769thMost Cheerful Citizens: 5,428thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 6,295thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 6,778thLargest Information Technology Sector: 7,386thMost Avoided: 7,957thHealthiest Citizens: 8,001stLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 8,090thTop
10%
Most Scientifically Advanced: 8,606thHighest Poor Incomes: 9,390thMost Devout: 12,502ndMost Average: 12,614thMost Inclusive: 13,567thHighest Disposable Incomes: 13,576thMost Efficient Economies: 14,489thNudest: 15,135thHighest Average Incomes: 15,568thLargest Retail Industry: 16,283rd
Top
5%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 166th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 233rd in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 274th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 337th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Information Technology Sector: 383rd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 430th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 460th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 462nd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 474th in the regionMost Influential: 477th in the regionMost Avoided: 504th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 519th in the regionMost Devout: 608th in the regionNudest: 663rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Alopecia Totalis was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Retail Industry.
  • : Following new legislation in Alopecia Totalis, politicians always seem to take two steps forward then three steps back.
  • : Following new legislation in Alopecia Totalis, the military maintains a fierce arsenal of 'Cure Missiles'.
  • : Following new legislation in Alopecia Totalis, the government is constantly producing new maps to accommodate the continual renaming of cities.
  • : Alopecia Totalis was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry.
  • : Following new legislation in Alopecia Totalis, a faint smell of body odour can be detected at several miles' distance from the National Science Park.
  • : Following new legislation in Alopecia Totalis, toxic smog is dismissed as the populace just "letting off steam".
  • : Following new legislation in Alopecia Totalis, concerned environmentalists wipe away their tears with tissues sourced from Tasmanian old-growth redwoods.
  • : Following new legislation in Alopecia Totalis, lobbyists are trying to convince government to recategorize most natural disasters as "non-critical naturogenic inconveniences".
  • : Alopecia Totalis's influence in Lazarus rose from "Sprat" to "Shoeshiner".

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