The Holy Empire of Andastan is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Robin Your Friendly Local Dictator with an iron fist, and remarkable for its public floggings, ritual sacrifices, and triple-decker prams. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 16.838 billion Andastanians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Spirituality, Law & Order, and Industry are also considered important, while Education and Environment aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Andastan City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 87.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Andastanian economy, worth a remarkable 4,461 trillion Andoodles a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 264,965 Andoodles, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,278,328 per year while the poor average 31,930, a ratio of 40.0 to 1.

In coastal waters there are fifteen salvage divers per dead man's chest (yo ho ho), those awarding peace prizes to Andastanians find themselves in pieces, citizens are regularly arrested in queues for 'loitering', and the industries of Andastan are coughing all the way to the bank. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force. Andastan's national animal is the Elk, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Robinism.

Andastan is ranked 6,529^th in the world and 332^nd in Osiris for Most Patriotic, with 78.02 flags saluted per person per day.