by Max Barry

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The Holy Empire of Apostolites

“All Serve Holy Emperor” Holy Emperor

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Outlawed
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Outlawed

Regional Influence: Superpower

Location: Holy Imperial Hegemony

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Apostolites

Population10.038 billion

CapitalMegas Solomon
LeaderHoly Emperor
FaithHoly Emperor's Word

Currencyichthys
AnimalEagle

The Holy Empire of Apostolites is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Holy Emperor with an iron fist, and remarkable for its vat-grown people, avant-garde cinema, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 10.038 billion Apostolites are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, although Law & Order and Spirituality are also considered important, while Social Policy isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Megas Solomon. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Apostolitesian economy, worth a remarkable 6,115 trillion ichthys a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Information Technology, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 609,202 ichthys, with the richest citizens earning 6.3 times as much as the poorest.

Mandatory patriotic themes make even the newest movies feel like remakes, family trees become bare as entire branches are lopped off, many politicians are in rehab for minor drug offenses, and the nation is wading into dangerous waters. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Apostolites's national animal is the Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Holy Emperor's Word.

Apostolites is ranked 234,529th in the world and 3rd in Holy Imperial Hegemony for Highest Drug Use, scoring 5.2 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.

Top
1%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 9thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 16thMost Devout: 23rdMost Advanced Defense Forces: 29thMost Corrupt Governments: 42ndMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 89thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 98thHighest Average Incomes: 140thLowest Crime Rates: 158thLargest Black Market: 190thMost Ignorant Citizens: 199thLargest Governments: 276thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 330thHighest Average Tax Rates: 407thLargest Insurance Industry: 520thLargest Mining Sector: 532ndMost Avoided: 631stLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 750thMost Conservative: 839thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 982ndHighest Poor Incomes: 1,091stHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,117thMost Advanced Public Transport: 1,225thHighest Economic Output: 1,390thMost Subsidized Industry: 1,655thMost Efficient Economies: 2,112thTop
5%
Most Authoritarian: 4,268thMost Advanced Public Education: 4,635thLargest Agricultural Sector: 6,014thLargest Information Technology Sector: 9,502ndHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 9,607thHealthiest Citizens: 10,701stTop
10%
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 17,635thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 18,322ndMost Extreme: 18,355th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Apostolites, the nation is wading into dangerous waters.
  • : Following new legislation in Apostolites, many politicians are in rehab for minor drug offenses.
  • : Following new legislation in Apostolites, family trees become bare as entire branches are lopped off.
  • : Following new legislation in Apostolites, mandatory patriotic themes make even the newest movies feel like remakes.
  • : Apostolites was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Conservative.
  • : Following new legislation in Apostolites, only government officials may operate computers.
  • : Following new legislation in Apostolites, phone taps are frequently carried out by the police.
  • : Following new legislation in Apostolites, the most common doctor's prescription is "get out of my consulting room".
  • : Following new legislation in Apostolites, the country is preparing for war.
  • : Following new legislation in Apostolites, national stress about the waning heir-line is causing a rise in alopecia.

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