by Max Barry

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National Flag

The PS2 Puppet of Aqualagoon

“Stop reading my motto!”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Some
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Outlawed

Regional Influence: Hatchling

Location: the South Pacific

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Aqualagoon

Population8.064 billion

CurrencyRaindrop
AnimalTrout

The PS2 Puppet of Aqualagoon is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, remarkable for its lack of airports, state-planned economy, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.064 billion Aqualagoonians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The relatively small, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Industry, with Administration and Spirituality also on the agenda, while Welfare and Law & Order receive no funds. The average income tax rate is 26.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Aqualagoonian economy, worth a remarkable 1,473 trillion Raindrops a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Beef-Based Agriculture and Trout Farming. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 182,781 Raindrops, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

No one over the age of 35 has the slightest clue what is going on, police officers catch up on their paperwork while handing their caseload to PIs, white privilege is a real thing, and citizens can only enjoy the splendor of the natural world in designated 'Majesty Appreciation' zones. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Aqualagoon's national animal is the Trout, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Aqualagoon is ranked 206,584th in the world and 7,628th in the South Pacific for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring -14.69 on the Hickory Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 1stLargest Agricultural Sector: 1stMost Ignorant Citizens: 35thHighest Crime Rates: 87thMost Primitive: 87thMost Armed: 102ndMost Devout: 140thMost Subsidized Industry: 210thMost Rebellious Youth: 376thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 403rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 537thBest Weather: 638thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,037thMost Efficient Economies: 1,299thMost Avoided: 1,436thTop
5%
Nudest: 2,137thLargest Black Market: 2,170thHighest Poor Incomes: 2,465thFattest Citizens: 3,507thHighest Disposable Incomes: 3,579thHighest Average Incomes: 7,999thMost Authoritarian: 8,277thMost Income Equality: 8,555thMost Beautiful Environments: 8,986thTop
10%
Highest Economic Output: 10,924thMost Valuable International Artwork: 17,873rd
Top
1%
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 6th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 6th in the regionMost Primitive: 6th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 6th in the regionMost Armed: 7th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 9th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 14th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 15th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 20th in the regionBest Weather: 25th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 29th in the regionMost Avoided: 31st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 42nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 48th in the regionNudest: 68th in the regionTop
5%
Highest Poor Incomes: 78th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 88th in the regionFattest Citizens: 90th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 202nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 212th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 275th in the regionLargest Populations: 353rd in the regionTop
10%
Most Income Equality: 386th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 399th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 590th in the regionMost Extreme: 763rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Aqualagoon, citizens can only enjoy the splendor of the natural world in designated 'Majesty Appreciation' zones.
  • : Following new legislation in Aqualagoon, white privilege is a real thing.
  • : Following new legislation in Aqualagoon, police officers catch up on their paperwork while handing their caseload to PIs.
  • : Following new legislation in Aqualagoon, no one over the age of 35 has the slightest clue what is going on.
  • : Following new legislation in Aqualagoon, students memorise knock-knock jokes for their mandatory twice-a-term Comedy Examinations.
  • : Following new legislation in Aqualagoon, TV shows must meet strict ethnicity quotas.
  • : Following new legislation in Aqualagoon, a signed affidavit from a prominent anti-corruption advocate declares that she is in fact a crook after all.
  • : Following new legislation in Aqualagoon, arthritic citizens seem underrepresented at royal meet-and-greets.
  • : Following new legislation in Aqualagoon, rioting and unrest sweep the nation.
  • : Following new legislation in Aqualagoon, Leader has been known to make speeches in fishing waders.

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