by Max Barry

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The American Dream of Architeuthis

“I've been through the desert on a horse with no name.”

Category: Iron Fist Socialists
Civil Rights:
Excellent
Economy:
Fair
Political Freedoms:
Rare

Regional Influence: Powerbroker

Location: United States

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Architeuthis

Population38.677 billion

CapitalMoistopolis
LeaderSteve O'Shea

Currencyroot of all evil
Animalample-rumped sloth

The American Dream of Architeuthis is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Steve O'Shea with an iron fist, and notable for its ban on automobiles, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, cynical, humorless population of 38.677 billion Architeuthisians are ruled with an iron fist by the socialist government, which grants its people the freedom to do whatever they like so long as it doesn't involve getting richer than anybody else or challenging the government.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, well-organized morass — juggles the competing demands of Environment, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Moistopolis. The income tax rate is 100%.

The enormous but inefficient Architeuthisian economy, worth a remarkable 4,239 trillion root of all evils a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 109,613 root of all evils, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Five-year-olds who refuse to line up on command get gold stars, a government program is underway to revitalize Architeuthis's beaches, nobody ever questions the unquestioned rule that questions must always be asked, and a traveller who once stubbed a toe on an Air Brancaland flight has been offered asylum. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Architeuthis's national animal is the ample-rumped sloth, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Architeuthis is ranked 207,050th in the world and 75th in United States for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring -29.36 on the Hickory Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Largest Populations: 5thMost Beautiful Environments: 109thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 182ndBest Weather: 200thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 238thHighest Average Tax Rates: 521stLargest Governments: 688thSmartest Citizens: 702ndLowest Crime Rates: 711thHealthiest Citizens: 712thLongest Average Lifespans: 820thMost Pacifist: 986thMost Influential: 1,158thSafest: 1,163rdMost Advanced Public Education: 1,315thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,782ndTop
5%
Most Cultured: 2,145thHighest Economic Output: 2,424thMost Advanced Public Transport: 2,437thLargest Welfare Programs: 2,496thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2,909thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 2,922ndMost Secular: 5,496thLargest Publishing Industry: 9,322ndMost Valuable International Artwork: 9,343rdMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 9,817thTop
10%
Most Inclusive: 11,103rdMost Compassionate Citizens: 11,605thHighest Poor Incomes: 12,710thMost Rebellious Youth: 13,466th
Top
5%
Most Beautiful Environments: 1st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1st in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 1st in the regionMost Influential: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Populations: 1st in the regionSafest: 1st in the regionMost Pacifist: 1st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 1st in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 1st in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1st in the regionMost Cultured: 1st in the regionLargest Governments: 1st in the regionBest Weather: 1st in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 1st in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 2nd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2nd in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Secular: 2nd in the regionMost Inclusive: 2nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3rd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 3rd in the regionTop
10%
Most Scientifically Advanced: 4th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 4th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 5th in the regionMost Developed: 5th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 6th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 7th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Architeuthis was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Publishing Industry and Most Advanced Law Enforcement.
  • : Following new legislation in Architeuthis, a traveller who once stubbed a toe on an Air Brancaland flight has been offered asylum.
  • : Architeuthis was reclassified from "Corrupt Dictatorship" to "Iron Fist Socialists".
  • : Following new legislation in Architeuthis, nobody ever questions the unquestioned rule that questions must always be asked.
  • : Architeuthis was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Publishing Industry.
  • : Architeuthis was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Cultured and the Top 5% for Most Inclusive.
  • : Following new legislation in Architeuthis, a government program is underway to revitalize Architeuthis's beaches.
  • : Architeuthis was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Highest Economic Output and the Top 10% for Most Income Equality.
  • : Architeuthis was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Income Equality.
  • : Architeuthis was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Poor Incomes.

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