The Artoonian Empire of Artoonia is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Empress Sofia with a fair hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, barren, inhospitable landscape, and otherworldly petting zoo. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 45.26 billion Artoonians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Education, although Industry is also considered important, while Environment and Law & Order are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lumo. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Artoonian economy, worth an astonishing 20,124 trillion spesmiloj a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Soda Sales, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 444,635 spesmiloj, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.3 times as much as the poorest.

The news is showing footage of Empress Sofia bullying an old man to the point of tears, meetings involving club finances are frequently broken up by men in black suits, literally voiceless people are unable to protest when food and water are denied to them, and the justice of Artoonia is considered superior to that of other nations. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, probably because of the absence of a police force. Artoonia's national animal is the penguin, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is L'Eklezio Artunia.

Artoonia is ranked 106,883^rd in the world and 3^rd in The Satellite of Love for Largest Governments, scoring 16.06 on the Bureaucratic Comprehensiveness Rating Scale Index.