The Eternal Misfortune of Askatopia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by The Executioner with an iron fist, and remarkable for its closed borders, anti-smoking policies, and complete lack of public education. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 21.312 billion Disposables are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Spirituality, and Administration are also considered important, while Education and Environment receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Unyielding Cesspit Of Filth. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Disposable economy, worth an astonishing 13,600 trillion Nuclear Bombs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, Basket Weaving, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 638,148 Nuclear Bombs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

More and more people are signing up for the government party, families returning from international vacations are unable to get their children back into the country, government officials say that if you close your eyes and wish really hard the budget deficit will go away, and blind dates tend to result in bruised shins. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Askatopia's national animal is the Slug, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Violetism.

Askatopia is ranked 79^th in the world and 4^th in Pencil Sharpeners Puppet Storage for Lowest Crime Rates, with 293.25 law-abiding acts per hour.