by Max Barry

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The People's Republic of Azerturkestan

“Proletarii Vsekh Stran, Soyedinyaytes!”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Rare
Economy:
Good
Political Freedoms:
Outlawed

Regional Influence: Sprat

Location: Soviet Democracy

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Azerturkestan

Population136 million

CurrencyRubel
AnimalJackal

The People's Republic of Azerturkestan is a very large, orderly nation, renowned for its digital currency, state-planned economy, and devotion to social welfare. The cynical population of 136 million Azerturkestanians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 70.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Azerturkestanian economy, worth 7.74 trillion Rubels a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Tourism, Retail, Information Technology, and Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 56,909 Rubels, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Scoutmasters debate whether luxury log cabins defeat the purpose of camping, hiding wrinkles with make-up is illegal, Leader's recent "I have a dream that we will fight them by raking muck on the beaches" speech seems a little derivative to many, and charged suspects often have to wait years before the courts have room to judge their trial. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Azerturkestan's national animal is the Jackal, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Azerturkestan is ranked 65,917th in the world and 37th in Soviet Democracy for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring 1,935 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.

Top
5%
Most Authoritarian: 6,107thTop
10%
Safest: 14,512thMost Secular: 14,735thMost Extreme: 15,323rd
Top
10%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 8th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Azerturkestan, charged suspects often have to wait years before the courts have room to judge their trial.
  • : Following new legislation in Azerturkestan, Leader's recent "I have a dream that we will fight them by raking muck on the beaches" speech seems a little derivative to many.
  • : Following new legislation in Azerturkestan, hiding wrinkles with make-up is illegal.
  • : Following new legislation in Azerturkestan, Scoutmasters debate whether luxury log cabins defeat the purpose of camping.
  • : Following new legislation in Azerturkestan, the national census includes an opt-in to join the government-run dating service.
  • : Following new legislation in Azerturkestan, children are disappointed to learn that cavemen never had a yabba-dabba-doo time riding dinosaurs to work.
  • : Following new legislation in Azerturkestan, babies are a small but significant export.
  • : Following new legislation in Azerturkestan, the nation's soldiers sleep four to a bed in order to use space economically.
  • : Following new legislation in Azerturkestan, warfare increasingly resembles a video game.
  • : Following new legislation in Azerturkestan, Azerturkestanian police have to pay out of their own pockets for bulletproof vests.

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