The Democratic Republic of B e a n t i m e is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by the bean ward with an even hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, avowedly heterosexual populace, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, devout population of 4.417 billion Beantimeans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Beantown. The average income tax rate is 70.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient B e a n t i m ean economy, worth 504 trillion Beans a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 114,275 Beans, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Beantown has restaurants serving every meat from aardvark to zebra, most ambassadors from B e a n t i m e retire only a few years after being appointed, police reduce their paperwork by refusing to arrest anyone, and sailors spend their shore leave helping old ladies cross the street. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. B e a n t i m e's national animal is the Opabinia, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Catholicism.

B e a n t i m e is ranked 29,453^rd in the world and 36^th in Spiritus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 83.06 law-abiding acts per hour.