by Max Barry

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The Empire of Badger Wind

“Release the crazed robot badger with laser eyes!”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Few
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Rare

Regional Influence: Newcomer

Location: the South Pacific

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendNuke ControlCards

Badger Wind

Population17.567 billion

CapitalWhen Pigs Fly
LeaderCreator Destroyer

Currencynugget
AnimalBadger

The Empire of Badger Wind is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Creator Destroyer with an iron fist, and renowned for its state-planned economy, smutty television, and anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 17.567 billion Badgers are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Environment, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of When Pigs Fly. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Badgerian economy, worth a remarkable 5,416 trillion nuggets a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Tourism, Information Technology, and Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 308,320 nuggets, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation's faithful often say there is a higher power watching over them, the meaning of life was recently discovered in the patch notes for Version 1.42, the regional delicacy of chocolate bombes is deadlier than an unexploded bomb, and billions of nuggets are spent to take high-quality photos of the Badger Nebula. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Badger Wind's national animal is the Badger, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Badger Wind is ranked 476th in the world and 19th in the South Pacific for Highest Poor Incomes, with 273,380.51 Standard Monetary Units.

Top
1%
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 25thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 25thBest Weather: 62ndMost Beautiful Environments: 68thMost Developed: 75thLongest Average Lifespans: 88thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 119thHealthiest Citizens: 120thMost Advanced Public Education: 123rdLargest Welfare Programs: 254thMost Secular: 261stMost Advanced Public Transport: 351stHighest Average Tax Rates: 446thHighest Poor Incomes: 476thLowest Crime Rates: 490thLargest Governments: 527thMost Inclusive: 537thLargest Black Market: 716thMost Pacifist: 876thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,130thSmartest Citizens: 1,390thMost Subsidized Industry: 1,526thHighest Economic Output: 1,616thHighest Average Incomes: 1,828thMost Valuable International Artwork: 2,201stTop
5%
Most Cultured: 2,876thLargest Information Technology Sector: 3,713thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3,938thNudest: 5,906thMost Efficient Economies: 6,894thLargest Populations: 9,090thTop
10%
Largest Cheese Export Sector: 13,067thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 13,846thMost Authoritarian: 14,637thMost Scientifically Advanced: 15,965thMost Income Equality: 16,589thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 19,558th
Top
1%
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 2nd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 3rd in the regionBest Weather: 4th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 4th in the regionMost Developed: 6th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 6th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 7th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 7th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 8th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 9th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 10th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 13th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 14th in the regionMost Secular: 15th in the regionLargest Governments: 16th in the regionLargest Black Market: 17th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 19th in the regionMost Inclusive: 23rd in the regionMost Pacifist: 27th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 31st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 32nd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 43rd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 49th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 66th in the regionLargest Populations: 76th in the regionMost Cultured: 81st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 83rd in the regionTop
5%
Largest Information Technology Sector: 120th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 150th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 205th in the regionNudest: 206th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 395th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Cheese Export Sector: 454th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 465th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 679th in the regionMost Income Equality: 729th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Badger Wind, billions of nuggets are spent to take high-quality photos of the Badger Nebula.
  • : Following new legislation in Badger Wind, the regional delicacy of chocolate bombes is deadlier than an unexploded bomb.
  • : Following new legislation in Badger Wind, the meaning of life was recently discovered in the patch notes for Version 1.42.
  • : Following new legislation in Badger Wind, the nation's faithful often say there is a higher power watching over them.
  • : Following new legislation in Badger Wind, the nation's orphanages and maternity wards have been nicknamed 'the Killbot Factories'.
  • : Following new legislation in Badger Wind, beaches are empty as the shark population multiplies exponentially.
  • : Following new legislation in Badger Wind, the latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller.
  • : Following new legislation in Badger Wind, minority children spend hours bussing to schools miles away from home.
  • : Following new legislation in Badger Wind, citizens no longer take selfies with their dead relatives at funerals.
  • : Following new legislation in Badger Wind, the carbon tax fund gladly supplies warm blankets when the poor can't pay their heating bills.

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