The Pipes of Bal B is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Paul Pipe with an even hand, and remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 21.441 billion Balians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Industry, Education, and Law & Order are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bal Pipe. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 68.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Bal Bian economy, worth a remarkable 2,944 trillion Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Furniture Restoration, and Information Technology. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 137,310 Dollars, with the richest citizens earning 7.6 times as much as the poorest.

Prime real estate is devoted to wind farms and solar energy generators, scientists regularly clone human beings for research purposes, the government seizes all major gold finds, and the army insists there is nothing gay about men in uniforms rolling in the mud. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bal B's national animal is the eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Pipism.

Bal B is ranked 49,828^th in the world and 2^nd in KCISEC2020 for Lowest Crime Rates, with 74.22 law-abiding acts per hour.