by Max Barry

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The Swinging Jungle of Baloo Kingdom

“Pull up a chair and have a Prickly Pear!” King Baloo von Bruinwald XIII

Category: Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
Civil Rights:
Average
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Good

Regional Influence: Ambassador

Location: Callista

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Baloo Kingdom

Population2.819 billion

CapitalBaloo Kingdom City
LeaderKing Baloo von Bruinwald XIII
FaithLutheran Christianity

CurrencyPrickly Pears
AnimalBear

The Swinging Jungle of Baloo Kingdom is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by King Baloo von Bruinwald XIII with an even hand, and renowned for its zero percent divorce rate, triple-decker prams, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, devout population of 2.819 billion Balooites have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Baloo Kingdom City. The average income tax rate is 95.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Balooite economy, worth 392 trillion Prickly Pears a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 139,117 Prickly Pears, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

BK-SPAN viewership drops as MPs act their age, urban graffiti is hand-calligraphed in perfectly kerned elegant fonts, hipster cyclists declare that "metal is dead", and government statisticians explain census inaccuracies by declaring that "Sith happens". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Baloo Kingdom's national animal is the Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Lutheran Christianity.

Baloo Kingdom is ranked 6,037th in the world and 3rd in Callista for Largest Governments, scoring 38.88 on the Bureaucratic Comprehensiveness Rating Scale Index.

Top
1%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 177thMost Devout: 544thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1,218thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,512thMost Pacifist: 2,355thTop
5%
Most Compassionate Citizens: 3,233rdNicest Citizens: 3,609thLowest Crime Rates: 3,620thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 4,315thHighest Average Tax Rates: 4,754thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 5,225thBest Weather: 5,462ndLargest Governments: 6,037thLargest Welfare Programs: 6,627thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 6,831stLongest Average Lifespans: 6,853rdHealthiest Citizens: 7,238thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 7,387thSafest: 8,286thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 8,452ndMost Beautiful Environments: 8,520thMost Cultured: 9,322ndMost Subsidized Industry: 10,048thMost Advanced Public Education: 10,346thMost Advanced Public Transport: 10,629thHighest Poor Incomes: 11,024thMost Developed: 11,353rdTop
10%
Most Efficient Economies: 12,571stHighest Average Incomes: 16,942ndMost Cheerful Citizens: 17,032ndLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 17,851stSmartest Citizens: 20,487thMost Inclusive: 20,741st
Top
5%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 1st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Pacifist: 3rd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3rd in the regionLargest Governments: 3rd in the regionMost Cultured: 3rd in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 3rd in the regionTop
10%
Nicest Citizens: 4th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 4th in the regionSafest: 4th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 4th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 4th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 4th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 4th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 4th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 5th in the regionBest Weather: 5th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 5th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 6th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 6th in the regionMost Average: 6th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 7th in the region

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