by Max Barry

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The United Provinces of Balzaria

“Aequam memento rebus in arduis servare mentem.”

Category: Left-wing Utopia
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: The North Pacific



Population13.645 billion



The United Provinces of Balzaria is a gargantuan, safe nation, renowned for its keen interest in outer space, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and pith helmet sales. The compassionate, democratic population of 13.645 billion Balzarians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Balzarus. The average income tax rate is 89.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Balzarian economy, worth a remarkable 1,085 trillion balzans a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Pizza Delivery. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 79,566 balzans, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Residents of ageing concrete tower blocks have vital renovation work stopped by Brutalism enthusiasts, the Messiah (formerly known as Brian) is a mayoral candidate, small patches of desolate land across the world are part of Balzarian sovereign territory, and there is something rotten in the state of Balzaria. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Balzaria's national animal is the wagtail, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Balzaria is ranked 181,574th in the world and 7,910th in The North Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 7.29 Obesity Rate.

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 647thMost Influential: 1,053rdMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1,860thTop
Least Corrupt Governments: 2,991stSafest: 3,493rdMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 4,755thBest Weather: 4,831stMost Beautiful Environments: 5,427thMost Advanced Public Education: 5,918thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 7,228thMost Cheerful Citizens: 7,236thMost Advanced Public Transport: 7,407thMost Pacifist: 7,578thHealthiest Citizens: 8,852ndHighest Average Tax Rates: 8,951stLongest Average Lifespans: 9,159thMost Cultured: 9,681stTop
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 11,526thLargest Publishing Industry: 11,691stNicest Citizens: 12,006thSmartest Citizens: 12,165thMost Stationary: 13,252ndMost Compassionate Citizens: 13,578thMost Subsidized Industry: 14,926thHighest Economic Output: 15,576thLargest Welfare Programs: 16,270thLowest Crime Rates: 16,642ndLargest Populations: 16,703rdMost Developed: 18,052ndLargest Governments: 18,217thMost Inclusive: 19,594thMost Valuable International Artwork: 20,595th
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 89th in the regionTop
Least Corrupt Governments: 160th in the regionSafest: 199th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 235th in the regionBest Weather: 271st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 272nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 288th in the regionMost Stationary: 299th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 312th in the regionLargest Populations: 312th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 341st in the regionMost Influential: 403rd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 409th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 410th in the regionMost Pacifist: 424th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 450th in the regionTop
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 473rd in the regionMost Cultured: 489th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 497th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 500th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 530th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 613th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 665th in the regionNudest: 668th in the regionNicest Citizens: 677th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 716th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 736th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 764th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 838th in the regionLargest Governments: 885th in the region

National Happenings

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 227 » Notyoutopia, Yaorozu, Siwale, Sunto, Great Bights Mum, Alice Gardens, Holy Oranz, Sil Dorsett, Xentherida, Malta Comino Gozo, Pallaith, Shadowrik, Frances Francis the First of France, PlanetPunk, Kwaj, Selfgradatude, Necromonia, Diodone, New Lakemba, Yukti, Kelvaros Prime, New Chilokver, Buckerino, Cloydicia, The Iron Lions, Moubarakistan, Universal State Formula, Territorio di Nessuno, Wineclaw, Unsophisticate, Ice and Tinian, Plumas, Corfad, The Syca, Unimaginable Doom, Maott, Eglise Sainte Eve, Puczovska, Atain, Phoronu, Shibutani, The Gamer Party, Former English Colony, New Trisone, Koda-Land, Highton Islands, Whereisthatistan, Zeternia, Ethnon, Pleroma Sans Romans, and 177 others.Sundred, Hyperbanus, Empy, United Draconia, SORT, El Fiji Grande, Arstungry, Dar es Saalam, Wilkshire, Amestris-Britannia, Greater Pittsburgh, The Rhein States, The Most Freedom Ever, New Pruessen, Valhalla123, Niradans, United Kahndaq, Votak Matim, Vincone Cae, North Bratislava, Egalico, The Windmilluminati, Dreadton, Guer Aike, Omnistria, Kasazzastan, Avemterra, The Austro Germanic Union, Kobagia, Ninjak30, Zumlandia, Napnomadia, Eri-Maqa-Ena, Bearical, Cinnibar, Pasargad, Joodey, The Sinclarian Provinces, Panama Coalition, Solmetria, The Discipled, Haor Chall, Plangainer, Acrabinnia, Steampunk Ariel, Trillius, The Stratosphere Islands, Astronomical, Nakayo, 1 very fast endotarter, British Pacific Islands, Loutsland, Destructive Government Endorsing System, Noahs Second Country, Zokk, Astrind, Solidair, Glurponia, Abject Ludicrosity, Wisconsota, Orado, Daiz, Runeda, The Tampa Bay Rays, New Octicarg, McMasterdonia, Faircliff, Solskjar, Gnomewatchers, Fizban, Clan Spaniel, Xagill, PotatoFarmers, Kranostav, Zecit, Pazair, Seenvorland, Viridiann, Dabarastan, Zyvetskistaahn, Ravendi, Serendipita Martia, Interdimensional Zone, Newpromisedland, Fendlium, Valentine Z, Volstokn, Cobleck Weleis, Hamerica, Tachycardia, Merconitonitopia, Praeceps, Loli County, The New Communist Republic Of States, MiaryBhalzhack, Eschatosia, The Endless Eventide, Ihese, Khoik, SherpDaWerp in TNP, Yokciq Empire, Crader, Avastate, Varola, Supreme Leader Hadrian, Chukstik Illahi, Nistriabar, Unshleepd, Woodsend, Hyphen, The Pantheons, Korovan Isles, Prydania, Solimun, The Serdey Islands, Fauzjhia, Mesopotama, The Democratic Kingdom Of Skaraborg, Frostcell, Sikol, Saperisole, Aoncarpa, Westinor, Zzozona, Fox Richy, New Jamgra, Libertania Democratica, Planes, Sevinland, Kocherian, Shinjuku tokyo 0, The Calabash Protectorate, Tukayyiad, Seanat, Cowbridge, Brucklania, Arichia, Schnuftelland, Damsmel, Madjack, Mardessa, Xipher, Kragsgale, Astal Aavors, Amerian States, Buckhem, Illusia and Neverendia, Ultra777, Cucuville, Andexia, Simone Republic, Ihsan, Principia Mathematica, Democratic Republic of Kohland, Therizia, Tyirza, Aerilia, Visse, Morover, Cretox State, U S Eh, Heilhum Imperius, Nouvelle-Floride, Eywaan, Jestings, Xyrron, Amprak, Yalkan, Comfed, Glanst, Chips and Guac, Navsland, Rozarus, Outer Shenendoah, Frahnkzaden, Hardscrabble, and Lulubellia.

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