The Classy Nation of Barnyard Pigs is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by The Good Witch of the North with an iron fist, and notable for its strictly enforced bedtime, state-planned economy, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 14.359 billion Pigs are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Industry, Healthcare, and Environment also on the agenda, while Welfare is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Farmer-in-the-Dell. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 50.5%.

The strong Piggy economy, worth 661 trillion cobs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, quite specialized black market in Beef-Based Agriculture, Arms Manufacturing, Automobile Manufacturing, and Trout Farming. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 46,041 cobs, with the richest citizens earning 7.1 times as much as the poorest.

Sniffer dogs are trained to follow clouds of fruity-smelling vapor, all new "spies" are fifteen-year-old acne-ridden kids on computers, a cat may look at a king and a dude can look at an ass, and the military is on a massive recruiting drive in advance of an invasion of Brasilistan. Crime is a problem. Barnyard Pigs's national animal is the piglet, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Wicca.

Barnyard Pigs is ranked 257,579^th in the world and 45^th in Gypsy Lands for Lowest Crime Rates, with 47.58 law-abiding acts per hour.