by Max Barry

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The Colony of Baronet

“Could you repeat that once more, for the record?”

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Average
Economy:
Powerhouse
Political Freedoms:
Average

Regional Influence: Vassal

Location: Vermont

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Baronet

Population4.424 billion

CapitalPortsmouth
LeaderWinston Churchill
FaithChristianity

CurrencyDollars
AnimalOscar the Grouch

The Colony of Baronet is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Winston Churchill with an even hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, compulsory military service, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 4.424 billion Barononians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The tiny, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Portsmouth. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 5.8%.

The powerhouse Baronetian economy, worth 400 trillion Dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 90,421 Dollars, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 320,699 per year while the poor average 18,387, a ratio of 17.4 to 1.

College-level writing classes are taught by undergraduate editors of the school newspaper, five-year-olds who refuse to line up on command get gold stars, confused-looking pigeons slide gently off frictionless window ledges, and weird kids who eat bugs are breaking the law. Crime is moderate. Baronet's national animal is the Oscar the Grouch, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Christianity.

Baronet is ranked 156,639th in the world and 19th in Vermont for Most Extreme, scoring 11.28 on the Paul-Nader Subjective Decentrality Index.

Top
5%
Largest Gambling Industry: 6,499thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 7,795thHighest Disposable Incomes: 9,360thTop
10%
Fattest Citizens: 12,956thMost Cheerful Citizens: 14,866thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 15,906thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 17,771stLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 18,081stMost Armed: 18,836thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 18,881st
Top
5%
Lowest Overall Tax Burden: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionTop
10%
Largest Mining Sector: 2nd in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 2nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2nd in the regionMost Pro-Market: 2nd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 2nd in the regionFattest Citizens: 2nd in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Baronet's influence in Vermont rose from "Apprentice" to "Vassal".
  • : Baronet was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector.
  • : Following new legislation in Baronet, weird kids who eat bugs are breaking the law.
  • : Following new legislation in Baronet, confused-looking pigeons slide gently off frictionless window ledges.
  • : Following new legislation in Baronet, five-year-olds who refuse to line up on command get gold stars.
  • : Following new legislation in Baronet, college-level writing classes are taught by undergraduate editors of the school newspaper.
  • : Following new legislation in Baronet, nobody looks each other in the eye at neighborhood block parties any more.
  • : Baronet lodged a message on the Vermont Regional Message Board.
  • : Baronet was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Highest Unexpected Death Rate.
  • : Baronet was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Fattest Citizens.

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