by Max Barry

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The Free Bears of Bears Armed

Bears Armed was Commended by Security Council Resolution # 124

“Do we WHAT in the woods?”

Category: Civil Rights Lovefest
Civil Rights:
Superb
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Excessive

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: International Democratic Union

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Bears Armed

Population32.587 billion

CapitalCouncil Groves
LeaderChairbear of the High Council
FaithOne Plus Seven

Currencygolden thaler
Animalgoldilocks

The Free Bears of Bears Armed is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Chairbear of the High Council with a fair hand, and renowned for its smutty television, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 32.587 billion Bears hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The minute, outspoken government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Council Groves. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Urrsish economy, worth an astonishing 11,210 trillion golden thalers a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Soda Sales, and Gambling. Average income is an amazing 344,031 golden thalers, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,150,785 per year while the poor average 76,451, a ratio of 15.1 to 1.

Students who refuse to pray are expelled from school, religious epiphanies are often cited as a reason for high school drop-outs, tourists flock to see the giant stone carvings of historical leaders at Mount Rushless, and police struggle to solve crimes due to the lack of fingerprint records. Crime is totally unknown. Bears Armed's national animal is the goldilocks, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is One Plus Seven.

Bears Armed is ranked 11,943rd in the world and 27th in International Democratic Union for Most Inclusive, scoring 172.25 on the Mandela-Wollstonecraft Non-Discrimination Index.

Top
1%
Most Cultured: 12thMost Cheerful Citizens: 105thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 120thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 134thHighest Food Quality: 212thLargest Publishing Industry: 227thMost Primitive: 330thMost Valuable International Artwork: 377thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 396thHighest Economic Output: 421stHighest Disposable Incomes: 427thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 519thMost Devout: 536thRudest Citizens: 622ndMost Beautiful Environments: 680thMost Efficient Economies: 695thLargest Agricultural Sector: 706thLargest Gambling Industry: 751stMost Rebellious Youth: 973rdHighest Average Incomes: 1,431stHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1,466thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,535thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,571stHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,589thLargest Populations: 2,011thSmartest Citizens: 2,448thTop
5%
Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3,360thLargest Retail Industry: 6,354thMost Subsidized Industry: 10,009thMost Armed: 11,373rdNicest Citizens: 11,575thMost Inclusive: 11,943rdMost Advanced Public Education: 12,074thLargest Governments: 12,287thTop
10%
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 12,605thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 12,977thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 16,294thHighest Drug Use: 18,901stMost Politically Free: 19,375thHighest Poor Incomes: 19,556thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 21,097th
Top
1%
Most Primitive: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 1st in the regionMost Cultured: 1st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 1st in the regionTop
5%
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 2nd in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 2nd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2nd in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 2nd in the regionHighest Food Quality: 2nd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 2nd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 2nd in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 3rd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 3rd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 3rd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 3rd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 5th in the regionLargest Populations: 5th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 6th in the regionMost Politically Free: 6th in the regionTop
10%
Smartest Citizens: 8th in the regionMost Armed: 8th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 11th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 11th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 12th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 13th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Bears Armed, police struggle to solve crimes due to the lack of fingerprint records.
  • : Following new legislation in Bears Armed, tourists flock to see the giant stone carvings of historical leaders at Mount Rushless.
  • : Following new legislation in Bears Armed, religious epiphanies are often cited as a reason for high school drop-outs.
  • : Following new legislation in Bears Armed, students who refuse to pray are expelled from school.
  • : Bears Armed was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Governments.
  • : Following new legislation in Bears Armed, tuba players are paid to quietly whisper into their instruments.
  • : Following new legislation in Bears Armed, there is a dearth of space for new houses.
  • : Following new legislation in Bears Armed, the saying 'break a leg' is now taken literally.
  • : Following new legislation in Bears Armed, adverts proclaim it has to be healthy if the Mornay uses hand-grated Gallopavian Gruyère.
  • : Following new legislation in Bears Armed, the National Archive now covers square miles of warehouses in order to accommodate its new stone tablets system.

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