by Max Barry

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The Democratic Republic of Beazlend

“Oh hai Mark. I did not see you there” Tommy Wiseau

Category: Democratic Socialists
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Very Good

Regional Influence: Superpower

Location: The Atheist Empire

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Beazlend

Population16.011 billion

CapitalAlfenheim
LeaderTommy Wiseau
FaithAtheism

CurrencyZenni
AnimalFlying turtle

The Democratic Republic of Beazlend is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Tommy Wiseau with an even hand, and remarkable for its unlimited-speed roads, compulsory gun ownership, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cheerful population of 16.011 billion Beazlendians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Alfenheim. The average income tax rate is 98.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Beazlendian economy, worth a remarkable 3,774 trillion Zennis a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 235,753 Zennis, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Citizens are regularly found digging for treasure in their gardens, the Beazlend Automotive Racing Series draws millions of spectators annually while those near the tracks complain about the noise, 13-year-old internet trolls are treated as a threat on par with terrorists, and excessive wheelchair ramps on government buildings have been compared to theme park attractions. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Beazlend's national animal is the Flying turtle, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Atheism.

Beazlend is ranked 531st in the world and 2nd in The Atheist Empire for Most Developed, scoring 98.83 on the Human Development Index.

Top
1%
Most Developed: 531stHealthiest Citizens: 574thLongest Average Lifespans: 597thMost Subsidized Industry: 690thMost Efficient Economies: 735thHighest Food Quality: 842ndMost Inclusive: 1,019thSmartest Citizens: 1,121stMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1,199thMost Cultured: 1,386thMost Beautiful Environments: 1,456thLargest Governments: 1,470thBest Weather: 1,608thHighest Average Tax Rates: 1,619thHighest Poor Incomes: 1,679thLowest Crime Rates: 1,841stMost Scientifically Advanced: 2,218thMost Advanced Public Education: 2,269thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2,272ndMost Valuable International Artwork: 2,290thTop
5%
Largest Publishing Industry: 2,556thMost Secular: 2,956thMost Influential: 3,085thSafest: 3,175thMost Armed: 3,339thMost Cheerful Citizens: 3,350thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 3,424thHighest Economic Output: 3,445thMost Advanced Public Transport: 3,453rdHighest Average Incomes: 4,214thNicest Citizens: 5,816thMost Stationary: 5,897thMost Compassionate Citizens: 6,702ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 6,781stLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 7,173rdMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 7,555thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 7,856thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 7,923rdLargest Welfare Programs: 8,877thMost Rebellious Youth: 10,879thTop
10%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 13,627thLargest Populations: 15,155thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 16,288thHighest Drug Use: 18,510thMost Income Equality: 22,229th
Top
10%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 1st in the regionMost Influential: 1st in the regionMost Inclusive: 1st in the regionBest Weather: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionMost Stationary: 1st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Beazlend, excessive wheelchair ramps on government buildings have been compared to theme park attractions.
  • : Following new legislation in Beazlend, 13-year-old internet trolls are treated as a threat on par with terrorists.
  • : Following new legislation in Beazlend, the Beazlend Automotive Racing Series draws millions of spectators annually while those near the tracks complain about the noise.
  • : Following new legislation in Beazlend, citizens are regularly found digging for treasure in their gardens.
  • : Following new legislation in Beazlend, the government loves seeing the little people fight.
  • : Following new legislation in Beazlend, returning tourists and businessmen are detained without trial if they belong to the "wrong" religion.
  • : Beazlend voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Repeal "Toxic Heavy Metals Act"".
  • : Following new legislation in Beazlend, knock-knock jokes regularly get removed from websites for being too edgy.
  • : Following new legislation in Beazlend, cash-strapped junkies lick rabbits for a cheap high.
  • : Beazlend was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Highest Food Quality.

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