by Max Barry

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The Hand Puppet of Beelzenef

“Murderers”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Some
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Rare

Regional Influence: Superpower

Location: Strawberry Hill

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendNuke ControlCards

Beelzenef

Population13.35 billion

CapitalOuran
LeaderNekozawa
FaithDark Magic

Currencycurse doll
Animalcat

The Hand Puppet of Beelzenef is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Nekozawa with an iron fist, and notable for its museums and concert halls, ban on automobiles, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 13.35 billion Beelzenefians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The minute, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Administration, with Law & Order, Industry, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ouran. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Beelzenefian economy, worth a remarkable 4,311 trillion curse dolls a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized black market in Retail, Soda Sales, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 322,984 curse dolls, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The tenet of free speech is held dear, it is illegal to have the wrong clock time showing on your microwave oven, students who refuse to pray are expelled from school, and bitter pastors forced to officiate gay marriage 'accidentally' pronounce couples "husband and abomination". Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Beelzenef's national animal is the cat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Dark Magic.

Beelzenef is ranked 256,694th in the world and 3rd in Strawberry Hill for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -5.97 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Largest Retail Industry: 2ndLargest Soda Pop Sector: 120thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 152ndMost Corrupt Governments: 219thMost Avoided: 224thHighest Crime Rates: 245thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 266thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 273rdMost Primitive: 290thFattest Citizens: 378thLargest Mining Sector: 419thMost Ignorant Citizens: 533rdHighest Disposable Incomes: 553rdMost Armed: 559thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 721stLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1,052ndHighest Poor Incomes: 1,115thHighest Average Incomes: 2,231stRudest Citizens: 2,526thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2,848thTop
5%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 3,623rdHighest Economic Output: 4,189thMost Secular: 4,858thLargest Black Market: 5,258thNudest: 5,563rdMost Cultured: 11,093rdLargest Insurance Industry: 13,802ndMost Stationary: 14,292ndMost Influential: 14,784thTop
10%
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 15,804thMost Rebellious Youth: 17,316thLargest Agricultural Sector: 19,383rdMost Authoritarian: 27,782nd

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Beelzenef was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Rudest Citizens and the Top 5% for Largest Insurance Industry.
  • : Following new legislation in Beelzenef, bitter pastors forced to officiate gay marriage 'accidentally' pronounce couples "husband and abomination".
  • : Following new legislation in Beelzenef, students who refuse to pray are expelled from school.
  • : Beelzenef was reclassified from "Corrupt Dictatorship" to "Psychotic Dictatorship".
  • : Following new legislation in Beelzenef, it is illegal to have the wrong clock time showing on your microwave oven.
  • : Following new legislation in Beelzenef, the tenet of free speech is held dear.
  • : Beelzenef was reclassified from "Psychotic Dictatorship" to "Corrupt Dictatorship".
  • : Following new legislation in Beelzenef, ceremonial zweihänders are used in holy rituals.
  • : Following new legislation in Beelzenef, the nation's official head of religious affairs is an atheist.
  • : Following new legislation in Beelzenef, it's rare to find an unchewed pencil.

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