by Max Barry

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The Cantankerous Curmudgeon of Belschaft


Category: Civil Rights Lovefest
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Squire

Location: the South Pacific



Population28.005 billion

CapitalNew London
LeaderJames Lambert

CurrencyFederal Pound
AnimalEvil Unicorn

The Cantankerous Curmudgeon of Belschaft is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by James Lambert with a fair hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, complete lack of prisons, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 28.005 billion Belschaftians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, corrupt, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New London. The average income tax rate is 3.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Belschaftian economy, worth a remarkable 6,394 trillion Federal Pounds a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Uranium Mining, and Automobile Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 228,319 Federal Pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Public intoxication has decreased ever since fraternities were banned, citizens recently voted in favour of declaring bubblewrap an 'abomination of nature', vaccinations are mandatory, and movie references are legally admissible in court. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Belschaft's national animal is the Evil Unicorn, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Belschaft is ranked 18,006th in the world and 173rd in the South Pacific for Most Politically Free, scoring 86 on the Diebold Election Inking Scale.

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 238thMost Influential: 475thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 679thHighest Economic Output: 1,261stLargest Mining Sector: 1,334thHighest Disposable Incomes: 1,362ndLargest Publishing Industry: 1,907thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2,044thLargest Insurance Industry: 2,314thTop
Highest Poor Incomes: 2,745thLargest Populations: 3,008thSmartest Citizens: 3,149thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 3,583rdMost Developed: 3,948thMost Rebellious Youth: 4,122ndHighest Average Incomes: 4,538thMost Avoided: 4,679thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 4,861stSafest: 5,682ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 6,381stLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 6,747thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 8,379thLargest Retail Industry: 8,478thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 8,751stMost Scientifically Advanced: 8,855thRudest Citizens: 9,057thMost Cultured: 9,878thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 11,929thTop
Lowest Crime Rates: 12,358thMost Stationary: 12,709thLongest Average Lifespans: 12,747thMost Advanced Public Education: 13,959thLargest Black Market: 14,773rdMost Secular: 15,156thLargest Governments: 16,313thMost Efficient Economies: 16,424thMost Politically Free: 18,006thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 19,496thHealthiest Citizens: 19,809thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 22,853rd
Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 13th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 23rd in the regionLargest Populations: 25th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 27th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 28th in the regionMost Influential: 33rd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 41st in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 51st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 51st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 64th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 80th in the regionTop
Largest Cheese Export Sector: 87th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 94th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 105th in the regionMost Developed: 123rd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 124th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 156th in the regionMost Avoided: 158th in the regionMost Politically Free: 173rd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 182nd in the regionSafest: 195th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 208th in the regionMost Stationary: 214th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 228th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 271st in the regionMost Cultured: 288th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 296th in the regionRudest Citizens: 297th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 327th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 358th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 405th in the regionTop
Most Advanced Public Education: 451st in the regionLargest Governments: 470th in the regionLargest Black Market: 503rd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 517th in the regionMost Secular: 520th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 523rd in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 601st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 658th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 681st in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 686th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 771st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 395 » Kholdan, Tsunamy, Farengeto, The United Expanse, Techganet, Drugged Monkeys, Transtemporal Shifts, Center Lisle, Sanden, Kringalia, Sandaoguo, Erinor, Vilbonde, PEPEP, Poopisiya, Auphelia, Oxsania, Jazklartan, Noire Denholm, Escevola, Yellunstryer, Angevin Britannia, Unielvan Millorvium, St Oaks, Moreana, Antarctic Empires, Si-topia, Trelatche, Arelplace, Linguiniland, Centristvill, Nowa Europa, Sthalrim, Wese Zippopiteradgil, Seliyan progressive Islands, Aidenfieeld, Native Inhabitants of Antarctica, Tsvetania, Hanguk-Nippon, Rebel-topia, Utondara, Darakin, North Kanuckistan, Ridehale, Bod Wareenaland, The naked people, Southern Numenor, Calistan, Volaworand, Sedunn, and 345 others.073 039 109 032 080 111 112 112 121, The Solar System Scope, Fighting Kawi Ninja, New Briantown, Drystar, Great Andora, Nova Montron, Aumeltopia, Beepee, Camante, Cuuldere, Xandev, Direwolf1, USNE2018, Qvait, The Filippinas, Changolandia, Land Without Shrimp, Wehraboos, North 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Midand, Concrete Slab, Idiono, The SpaceNeo-Goryeo Etymological Society, Bumblegaria, Indolos, Oreo States, Drazilazi, Lesinteil, Seyja, Alfama, Blaash, Aresten, Wardoeka, Isokenzar, Bohenia, House Ahsanul, Walloonia, Hypersensible Crybabies, Amakul, Merevane, Weryalachiressaraxiatopia, Tepertopia, Brunier, Purple Hyacinth, Phanama, Steviland, Bartonia Nova, Zataras, SteamPunk Squirrels, Rabbitz, Vanbella, Eskvenn, WI SD EA D, South Western Korea, Itani, Trotkys paradise, Dereistic, Apartment 11F, Western Fardelshufflestein, Abyssal Phantasm, Grianal, Samofia, Wusas, Hong Kong Kowloon and New Territories, Jehenna, Berlana, Zuleit, Legion Of The Moon, Not Austria, The United Pirate Cities of Flotilla, Euro Pacifica, Republik Hintonia, Canmore, Katikstan, Hakk Fiss, Menesynchro, Isle of Glastonbury, Aoz, Enlightened Australasia, Rectionk, Los Rodeos, Ullan, Proctethia, Sacal, HUElavia, Guvnurag, Kucaland, Avalonica, Maximvs Tarvgvs Rex, Rotenaplistan, Monstrous Island, Chekuruvada, Zosnor, Velarin, Kallassius, Ostko, Pmta, Glen Cooley, Kelle Sondians, Andinla, South Blossom, Farelonia, Charisma Bonus, Pi Ttamgwa Nunmul, Los Lonley Boys, Tughampton, Fredriecan, New Iridescence, Jiam, Republic of RIP, The Imperial Frost Federation, Martzian, Wakandan Tribes, Roterdamia, The Drakan Republic, Lionstrapower, Holota, Treir, SHAYTAN UKHIROSS, Synarion, Playing Pianos Filled With Flames, Xergiokia, East Mantis, Drucar, Venethort, Oxyliteral, Nori Natto, Asdfghuiop, Hisal, The Founding Citadel, Sapientiano, Albrenia, Tsuyuhimoko, Kingpins, Yahshabbat, The Dragon Spire Order, Margila Islands, Myhomecountry, Rishiku, Lugentzdort, Rosdrikk, HORLALEK, Wallechi, Britun, Truskawkoland, Stuff-istan, Dovan Con Kabizzores, Mauricean Islands, Levistian, Ceutalia, Malonlandia, Adparitora, Scu Greinne, Honey Cake, Unojo, Human Centered Capitalism, El-Sallia, Neten Land, Qawe, Cokoland, New Itomorii, LadyRebels, Shuckle Empire, The Altan, Dantzig Ville, Yuveska, Of Cheddar, 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