by Max Barry

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The Cantankerous Curmudgeon of Belschaft

“PAX QUÆRITUR BELLO”

Category: Civil Rights Lovefest
Civil Rights:
Superb
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
World Benchmark

Regional Influence: Squire

Location: the South Pacific

OverviewDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Belschaft

Population34.623 billion

CapitalNew London
LeaderJames Lambert

CurrencyFederal Pound
AnimalEvil Unicorn

The Cantankerous Curmudgeon of Belschaft is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by James Lambert with a fair hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, democratic, humorless population of 34.623 billion Belschaftians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, corrupt, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New London. The average income tax rate is 8.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Belschaftian economy, worth a remarkable 7,746 trillion Federal Pounds a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Uranium Mining, and Automobile Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 223,731 Federal Pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Public intoxication has decreased ever since fraternities were banned, citizens recently voted in favour of declaring bubblewrap an 'abomination of nature', vaccinations are mandatory, and movie references are legally admissible in court. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Belschaft's national animal is the Evil Unicorn, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Belschaft is ranked 11,912th in the world and 306th in the South Pacific for Most Cultured, scoring 110 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.

Top
1%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 226thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 662ndMost Influential: 765thHighest Economic Output: 1,479thHighest Disposable Incomes: 1,583rdLargest Mining Sector: 2,041stLargest Publishing Industry: 2,359thLargest Populations: 2,722ndTop
5%
Largest Insurance Industry: 3,234thSmartest Citizens: 3,775thHighest Poor Incomes: 3,775thMost Rebellious Youth: 4,051stMost Developed: 4,292ndSafest: 5,855thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 6,010thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 6,899thHighest Average Incomes: 7,325thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 7,408thLargest Information Technology Sector: 7,412thMost Stationary: 8,820thMost Scientifically Advanced: 9,609thLongest Average Lifespans: 11,219thMost Cultured: 11,912thMost Advanced Public Education: 13,049thLargest Retail Industry: 15,014thTop
10%
Lowest Crime Rates: 15,345thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 15,394thMost Secular: 16,154thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 16,932ndLargest Governments: 18,213thHealthiest Citizens: 19,205thHighest Food Quality: 21,807thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 24,120thMost Efficient Economies: 27,452nd
Top
1%
Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 9th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 21st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 25th in the regionMost Influential: 26th in the regionLargest Populations: 26th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 29th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 37th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 54th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Insurance Industry: 67th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 80th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 90th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 94th in the regionMost Developed: 113th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 120th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 128th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 144th in the regionMost Stationary: 152nd in the regionSafest: 176th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 181st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 185th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 202nd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 243rd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 289th in the regionTop
10%
Most Advanced Public Education: 300th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 305th in the regionMost Cultured: 306th in the regionMost Secular: 327th in the regionMost Politically Free: 336th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 341st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 359th in the regionLargest Governments: 378th in the regionLargest Black Market: 384th in the regionRudest Citizens: 417th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 423rd in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 503rd in the region

National Happenings

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 330 » Beblahbleblo, Tepertopia, Bawkie, Hong Kong Kowloon and New Territories, Bleakfoot, Chernaya Zvezda, Land Without Shrimp, Arscanesia, PenguinPies, Wehraboos, Kringalia, Ebonhand, The Haughtherlands, Aidenfieeld, Great Lothian, Farengeto, Froshar, Nowa Europa, Amerion, Rebel-topia, Altnavia, Saciu, Delthorensdale, ARIAPOLIS01, The Worst army of, Democratic Chanum Ter Heak, Tsunamy, New Bulacan, Goldnation, Holy Free, Sgaana, Marnrio, Freedoom, Valles Stellarum, Estival, Sporaltryus, Curlyhoward, West Pastafaria, Galactya, North Pernambuco, Ostavaria, Pepoland, Kazhinskia, The Free Falklands, Dhemixia, Ever Testing, Alvira, Yugarritia, Gracca, Venezia Pacifica, and 280 others.Hacrela, Empire of Pekoland, Balisca, Cerespasia, America Gone Wrong, Grace Wellesley Thayer, Great Scapula, Nomayuki, Gonthavnor, Asarana, Morian, Kaoia, The Two Jerseys, Drystar, Privatore, Jehenna, Nova Montron, Skaladoria, Emiton, Darakin, Antarctic Empires, Havenwelle, Isokenzar, A leftover country, Pamela And Hepatitis, Zaelith, ANuadh, Doraya, Skwar, Kiasu-ism, Seythennia, Ancient Slobovia, Outer Utonixick Gollinican, United States of Belvaria, Southern Numenor, Bear Connors Paradiso, Tanyaland, Rad Asia, Shefino, Mapico, Soem, Linden Oak, Cypheri, Doundaly, Maeiland, Itani, Mavenu, Zanforadon, The Solar System Scope, Fasire, Of the european socialist republics, Eastern Cenland Anuicalica, Blondiesland, Menesynchro, The Ginger Lands, Sumina, Dakalian, Calistan, Mizuni, Koros, West Khazana Finsstan, Jammlandia, North Kanuckistan, Farelonia, Unojo, Kalilola, Ferristia, Sismite, Madhonia, Unielvan Millorvium, Grand Milania, New Maxta, Baron Ungern and Tzar Nicholas, Atomic Garden, Ugranda, Volaworand, Afria Thebel, Yomer, Yellunstryer, Arugastan, Purisect, Frairrisburg, Ipugao, New-Javarra, Kanatian Percocet, Blipp, Eritria, Pabtlau, Walloonia, Nill Vill, Dun Frest, Galadra, New Anterea, Bloonation, Gymnostan, Karatengisa, Ekrixia, The Woragopiria, Tigrulia, Legosia, Greater Lamero, Flaking, Lynxaion, Republic of Rhode Island, Razana, Anglischland Kaiserreich, The real Ireland, Siberia union, 0200-Gamma, The Ark of Survival, Sea shep, Sautu, Dutch-Gaming-Commune, Stella-Arga, Ferfulesse, Monolandia, Daztonia, IndustroMiliComplex, Amerinsca, Musica Nova, Silvaterrae, Kholdan, Lubrus, Great Ostanian Republic, Proculus, Aquila Audax, Astriva, Aurcania, Venkara, Al Madhaa, Ferrumetlapis, The Achericend, Aspratia, Phyakaran, Lilli Lands, Los Lonley Boys, The Culinary State of Half-Jordi, Hazahmkong, Teasonda, South Venison, Imperium Sempiternum, Mythanonia, United Weale Eartios, Khnomania, Ammehoela, Tioloman, Gabrielian, Myness, Sordandia, Democates, Greater Pardonia, Vasken, The Amazons Daughters, Mittero, Corpoterra, Chypas, Emagination, Gdfsg land, Aina O Na Pua, Cofrosia, Swiss Cheese Wheel, Canmore, Hadrex, Merda Magna, Thanitharia, Swenfia 2, Gradivus Albiorix, Karlsburgh, Dausuva, Auviantan Outh Islands, Purestan, Yusan, Baxingtull, Avastotz, Zeta Del Norte, Agilenion, Andinla, Nordrune, Krauanagaz, The Filippinas, Galano, Forearza, Xarbraden, Eden Novae, Lowelian, Lan Panna, East Endia, Tvania, Inner Albania, Espiritual, Noimosini, Differences-In-Differences, Petea, Greater Tern, Luxemstein, HATRED AND BIGOTRY, Detroxia, The black river, Nuevo San Juan Parangaricutiro, Albend, Eastern Doncaster, Harvatka, Beneti, Vertruse, Mercian Legions, Laniakea and Primaliya, Springwalla, Vallholm, The Weirdo, Bogani, Shilvend, Las Filipina, Nortast, HawkoFon, Aodhan, Lemenga, Proscot, United Kingdoms of Numenor, Qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvb, ARIA HOLONS, Notheam, Mythora, Franfooziland, Lupusterra, Upper Ryu Lorty, Philippinessss, Eterian commonwealth, Ustallaa, Gutiterra, Xanistan, Stingoistic Jates, Lans Isles, Nixoniaxo, Truskawkoland, North Helorgeroestarda, Jontum, The Dziki, Marre, East Pan Schevidust, Nueva Alta California, BEEstreetz, Nakayo, Pepperton, Great Andora, The Grand Potato Empire, Elritch, Eastern Juble Lux, Photoplier, Lyautesie, Apreerco, Dundea Loea, Repreteop, Sovreign Republics, Satilynia, Hajdukia, Vimoraland, Peoples East Aliska, Angel Nation, Nyitrai, Sedunn, Threnluel, North Harave, Anarco Argentina, Meirenyu, New Paphlagonia, Donauvolk, BRASILIENSE NATION, Appelovich, Geneek, Anchors Islands, Canamerico and Greenland, Soradev, Qadiworka, Genoxelande, Anglimerica, Domnonia, Sazakia, Poguelands, The Xolbarian Opposition, and Stelmund.

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