by Max Barry

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The Cantankerous Curmudgeon of Belschaft


Category: Civil Rights Lovefest
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Squire

Location: the South Pacific



Population26.554 billion

CapitalNew London
LeaderJames Lambert

CurrencyFederal Pound
AnimalEvil Unicorn

The Cantankerous Curmudgeon of Belschaft is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by James Lambert with a fair hand, and remarkable for its daily referendums, smutty television, and anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 26.554 billion Belschaftians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The tiny, corrupt, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New London. The average income tax rate is 2.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Belschaftian economy, worth a remarkable 6,233 trillion Federal Pounds a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Uranium Mining, and Automobile Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 234,733 Federal Pounds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.4 times as much as the poorest.

Public intoxication has decreased ever since fraternities were banned, citizens recently voted in favour of declaring bubblewrap an 'abomination of nature', vaccinations are mandatory, and movie references are legally admissible in court. Crime is totally unknown. Belschaft's national animal is the Evil Unicorn, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Belschaft is ranked 31,874th in the world and 1,310th in the South Pacific for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring 4,695.68 on the Hickory Productivity Index.

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 394thMost Influential: 658thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 673rdHighest Economic Output: 1,162ndLargest Mining Sector: 1,169thHighest Disposable Incomes: 1,274thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,666thLargest Insurance Industry: 1,814thLargest Publishing Industry: 1,909thTop
Largest Cheese Export Sector: 2,652ndLargest Populations: 3,065thSmartest Citizens: 3,133rdMost Avoided: 3,418thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 3,832ndMost Developed: 4,021stHighest Average Incomes: 4,045thMost Rebellious Youth: 4,140thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4,937thSafest: 5,773rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 5,980thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 7,081stLargest Retail Industry: 7,132ndLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 7,491stHighest Wealthy Incomes: 7,859thHighest Poor Incomes: 8,466thMost Scientifically Advanced: 8,495thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 8,883rdLargest Black Market: 9,736thMost Cultured: 9,743rdRudest Citizens: 9,972ndTop
Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 11,592ndLowest Crime Rates: 13,414thMost Stationary: 13,816thMost Advanced Public Education: 13,940thMost Secular: 14,389thMost Politically Free: 14,518thLongest Average Lifespans: 15,084thMost Efficient Economies: 15,298thLargest Governments: 16,133rdHealthiest Citizens: 20,667th
Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 13th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 19th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 21st in the regionLargest Populations: 28th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 32nd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 37th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 39th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 49th in the regionMost Influential: 55th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 69th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 70th in the regionMost Avoided: 71st in the regionTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 95th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 97th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 101st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 108th in the regionMost Developed: 124th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 129th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 179th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 179th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 189th in the regionSafest: 195th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 200th in the regionMost Stationary: 242nd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 249th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 258th in the regionMost Politically Free: 261st in the regionLargest Black Market: 272nd in the regionMost Cultured: 274th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 284th in the regionRudest Citizens: 284th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 339th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 371st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 404th in the regionTop
Most Advanced Public Education: 429th in the regionLargest Governments: 435th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 440th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 458th in the regionMost Secular: 516th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 667th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 668th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 673rd in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 685th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 754th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 306 » Pencil Sharpeners 2, Luddinlande, Kholdan, Tsunamy, Farengeto, The United Expanse, Techganet, Sagada, Drugged Monkeys, Transtemporal Shifts, Center Lisle, Sanden, Kringalia, Sandaoguo, Erinor, Vilbonde, PEPEP, Poopisiya, Auphelia, Oxsania, Jazklartan, Noire Denholm, Escevola, Vos Dothrak, Yellunstryer, Angevin Britannia, Unielvan Millorvium, St Oaks, Moreana, Antarctic Empires, Si-topia, Trelatche, Arelplace, Linguiniland, Barabarom, Centristvill, Nowa Europa, Sthalrim, Wese Zippopiteradgil, Seliyan progressive Islands, Aidenfieeld, Native Inhabitants of Antarctica, Tsvetania, Hanguk-Nippon, Rebel-topia, Vincent Field, Utondara, Darakin, Aywhyou, North Kanuckistan, and 256 others.Ridehale, Bod Wareenaland, Bentwaters, The naked people, Southern Numenor, Calistan, Volaworand, Sedunn, 073 039 109 032 080 111 112 112 121, The Solar System Scope, Fighting Kawi Ninja, New Briantown, Saciu, Drystar, Great Andora, Nankyoku Tairiku, Nova Montron, Aumeltopia, Beepee, Isokenzar, The Imperial Frost Federation, Silberne Wache, Camante, Aguatania, Cuuldere, Xandev, Phanama, Rabbitz, Direwolf1, USNE2018, Qvait, The Filippinas, Changolandia, Land Without Shrimp, Malkotistan, Wehraboos, North Catimestistrianes, Dasko, Crystal Creation, Sesteran, Amutien, The West Valley Mountains, Unidum, PenguinPies, Amerion, Maeiland, Aurcania, Jennaterra, Qaweritoyu, Imperial Duck, Omiri, Fasire, Mapico, Empa Aserium, Zaelith, Noveos, The Tecorogan Federation, Manniskoslaktet, Realms of Madness, Qawe, Bear Connors Paradiso, Madreia, Abarri, The Bereans, Astraee, Curlyhoward, Tilipria, Yeldarbsland, Jaxon, Lambdaland, Cohors Stercore, Bleakfoot, Nueva Alta California, Esfalsa, Marstella, Bizzie, New Marinia, Serendiva, North Delaware, Tiransia, Greater Hyrulang, Isles of Creckero, Great Novania, Novaexus, Steampunk Engineers, Bawkie, Terran Draconia, Iym Winterless, Tepertopia, Santa Ofelia, Morlama Nast, Tarnik, Holy Free, Saoirsene, Kasharsa, The Bay, Soem, Gliasco, Ebonhand, Barokah, New Ancapland, West Pastafaria, InnWorm, Anserisa, Eskvenn, Office Chair, Turks of The Eastern Calculus, Grubville, Sau Man Frescher, CzechoSlovakishMoravia, Charloa, Shefino, Ralphburg, Weburya, Baltenlands, The Plebeian States, Historiography, The Worst army of, ChickenDome, Kaz Katiestan, Tridem, Melicorium, South Caleblan, Merevane, Eggraria, Quh, Kervanosia, Maerist, Meistonia, Elan Sleazebaganno, Jimburna, Sophiana, Phoenixesia, Ngasha, Freest Freedonia, Nova Kobol, Gnofnordclancedenilland, Tazaman, Compli, Humanity bureau, Gonrati, Dis7Nation, Marinho Islands, Luzonesia, Starsight, Necosia, Markla, Alaninia, Nouvel-Indre, The Gungan Republic, Dirkistan, Kandorith, Royaltica, Laamiva, Waddennation, Roleca, Corgitopiaa, Eden Contour, NganXuan, Matak Tribes, LadyRebels, Northern Karkon, Travislavania, Great Britain And Empire, Vega Naothia, Peoples National Patronage, Great Elsika, Walagya, Nado, Well F, Rhetiaa, Purple Hyacinth, Operahouse, Trepsit, Odesseen, United States of Vietnam, Valdutz, Dossiny, Efferalt, Djalia, Our Lord and Savior Ting, Briteannia, United Crumburrtha Federation, Myness, New Heir, Xarbraden, International House of Pancakes, Salguod, Doss Kingly, Ucilia, Stoniamera, Pamela And Hepatitis, Kroumos, Dylar, Votri, Ovkianos, Tioloman, Irrepertus, Mincestia, Page 53, V3rmont, Zolooloo, Vardanfel, Rad Asia, Apelan, Kelshine, Avia Lavanda, The Arctic Union, Jammlandia, Jarilon, Doraya, United Great Holy Empire, Dragon spirit, Kyroski, Kedjens, Trinennie, Temaseka, East Lodge, Storalia, Bariovia, Jehenna, Myndia, Arkalon, A leftover country, The Hare Jordans, Rosescedium, Yavemaya, Midand, Concrete Slab, NDG, Great Terra and its Dominions, Eastern Don Mard, White Bananistan, Idiono, Nimphadale, Catillos, Official State of Landland, Distrotika, The SpaceNeo-Goryeo Etymological Society, Eastern Liberal Lidership, Ikkarus, Bumblegaria, Comrie, B H A R A T, Indolos, Oreo States, Drazilazi, Churls, Lesinteil, Seyja, Alfama, A little place for u and me, Sword of Summer, Kompir, Tandrea, and Itch.

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