by Max Barry

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The Cantankerous Curmudgeon of Belschaft


Category: Civil Rights Lovefest
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Squire

Location: the South Pacific



Population24.637 billion

CapitalNew London
LeaderJames Lambert

CurrencyFederal Pound
AnimalEvil Unicorn

The Cantankerous Curmudgeon of Belschaft is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by James Lambert with a fair hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, complete lack of prisons, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 24.637 billion Belschaftians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The tiny, corrupt, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New London. The average income tax rate is 2.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Belschaftian economy, worth a remarkable 5,733 trillion Federal Pounds a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Uranium Mining, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is an amazing 232,720 Federal Pounds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.6 times as much as the poorest.

Public intoxication has decreased ever since fraternities were banned, citizens recently voted in favour of declaring bubblewrap an 'abomination of nature', vaccinations are mandatory, and movie references are legally admissible in court. Crime is totally unknown. Belschaft's national animal is the Evil Unicorn, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Belschaft is ranked 20,298th in the world and 717th in the South Pacific for Healthiest Citizens, with 8.54 Bananas Ingested Per Day.

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 597thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 669thMost Influential: 987thLargest Mining Sector: 1,061stHighest Economic Output: 1,156thHighest Disposable Incomes: 1,227thTop
Lowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,575thLargest Insurance Industry: 1,598thLargest Publishing Industry: 1,831stMost Avoided: 2,900thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 3,002ndSmartest Citizens: 3,090thLargest Populations: 3,228thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 3,271stHighest Average Incomes: 3,591stLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 3,823rdMost Rebellious Youth: 3,963rdLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 5,246thLargest Information Technology Sector: 5,492ndLargest Retail Industry: 5,784thSafest: 5,887thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 5,958thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 6,119thRudest Citizens: 7,120thTop
Most Politically Free: 8,010thMost Scientifically Advanced: 8,363rdLargest Black Market: 8,422ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 8,536thHighest Poor Incomes: 8,649thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 8,986thMost Cultured: 10,130thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 12,061stMost Secular: 12,212thMost Extensive Civil Rights: 13,300thLowest Crime Rates: 13,514thMost Advanced Public Education: 13,620thMost Efficient Economies: 13,936th
Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 9th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 15th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 17th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 23rd in the regionLargest Populations: 26th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 27th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 33rd in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 40th in the regionTop
Most Avoided: 61st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 62nd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 64th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 70th in the regionMost Influential: 71st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 96th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 96th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 96th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 105th in the regionMost Politically Free: 127th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 133rd in the regionLargest Black Market: 134th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 141st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 159th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 175th in the regionSafest: 189th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 196th in the regionRudest Citizens: 207th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 229th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 250th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 252nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 257th in the regionMost Cultured: 293rd in the regionTop
Most Stationary: 315th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 366th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 370th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 394th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 410th in the regionMost Secular: 417th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 418th in the regionLargest Governments: 419th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 497th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 505th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 532nd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 561st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 196 » Pencil Sharpeners 2, Luddinlande, Kholdan, Tsunamy, Farengeto, The United Expanse, Techganet, Nothanksbutseriously, Sagada, Drugged Monkeys, Trinennie, Transtemporal Shifts, Ufask, Center Lisle, Sanden, Kringalia, Quiescent, Sandaoguo, Erinor, Janapuri, Vilbonde, PEPEP, Poopisiya, Auphelia, Oxsania, Jazklartan, Noire Denholm, Escevola, Vos Dothrak, Lumpov Hasch, Yellunstryer, Angevin Britannia, Unielvan Millorvium, St Oaks, Moreana, Antarctic Empires, Si-topia, Trelatche, Paenoa, Blahblah2017, Arelplace, Brendleton, Linguiniland, Barabarom, Iristead, Centristvill, Santulanum, Anachronolandia, Hollowed Sun, Nowa Europa, and 146 others.Sonnydesh, Sthalrim, Wese Zippopiteradgil, Seliyan progressive Islands, Concrete Slab, Aidenfieeld, Native Inhabitants of Antarctica, Tsvetania, Farelonia, Hanguk-Nippon, Rebel-topia, Vincent Field, Wyatonians, Utondara, Darakin, Freedwanda, Aywhyou, North Kanuckistan, Ridehale, Bod Wareenaland, Bentwaters, The naked people, Southern Numenor, Calistan, La Ascension, Volaworand, Sedunn, Lotadia, 073 039 109 032 080 111 112 112 121, Paranoia, Catalunya Unida, The Solar System Scope, Rhetiaa, Fighting Kawi Ninja, New Briantown, Jaxon, Saciu, Drystar, Great Andora, Nankyoku Tairiku, Democratic Parndia, Atomic Garden, Nova Montron, Aumeltopia, Beepee, Elveka, Isokenzar, UnShleepd, The Imperial Frost Federation, Silberne Wache, Camante, Lester Crest, The National Corporation, Shengtie, Kerlodia, Aguatania, Awjan, Spearos, Cuuldere, Xandev, Republitank, Phanama, Lorora3, Kandorith, Rabbitz, Direwolf1, USNE2018, Darbor, Towi Lamia, Qvait, The Libertarian Nation of Songrandine, Zess, The Filippinas, Birdkeeper, Changolandia, Violent Peacenicks, State of Iowa, North Prarie, Land Without Shrimp, Jahass, Choodox, Malkotistan, Federated Kingdoms of Brittania, Academy of Umbrellas, Wehraboos, Republic Clovakh, North Catimestistrianes, Akindom, Ostanasia, Revanial, Dasko, Crystal Creation, Pays de Loire, Mew Nation, Agalaesia, Qawe, Sesteran, Amutien, Churumduul, Milvands, P R of China, The West Valley Mountains, Staubsaugen, Edula, Unidum, North Erfton, Nixtodea, PenguinPies, Amerion, Novagentum, Wild Space, Naam, World United, Great Africans, Aveerya, South Central Siberia, Ratoninburg, Hyypia, Maeiland, United Federated States of Omega, Negoshi, Westoc Kinness, Srevana, Aurcania, Laropsa, Miltonville, Friesenheim, Bomamani, Jennaterra, The Sk8ing Unicorn, BootJack, Bedain, Sporaltryus, Ave Gloriana, Kuddles, Qaweritoyu, South Whitica, Ketathinamiri Islands, Imperial Duck, Solega, Higash, Rendania, Ariankido, Anakastan, Upper Tyrconnel, and Omiri.

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