by Max Barry

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The Great Love Story of Beta Couple

“Always the better couple”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Some
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Rare

Regional Influence: Newcomer

Location: The North Pacific

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Beta Couple

Population2.209 billion

CapitalParadise
LeaderWingman
FaithCards

Currencylove
Animaldove

The Great Love Story of Beta Couple is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Wingman with an iron fist, and notable for its fear of technology, free-roaming dinosaurs, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 2.209 billion foils are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Paradise. The average income tax rate is 58.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient the foil economy, worth 372 trillion loves a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Uranium Mining, Gambling, Retail, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is an impressive 168,597 loves, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

The practice of capital punishment proves divisive, citizens must pay to enjoy Beta Couple's pristine beaches, city sidewalks are crowded with overweight people, and overweight people receive reparations checks from fast-food chains. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Beta Couple's national animal is the dove, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Cards.

Beta Couple is ranked 63,429th in the world and 2,864th in The North Pacific for Rudest Citizens, with 61.91 Insults Per Minute.

Top
1%
Largest Gambling Industry: 916thLargest Mining Sector: 1,282ndTop
5%
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2,388thMost Avoided: 2,734thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,902ndMost Corrupt Governments: 3,128thFattest Citizens: 3,151stLargest Retail Industry: 3,688thMost Subsidized Industry: 4,389thLargest Black Market: 4,854thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 5,369thHighest Poor Incomes: 7,776thHighest Average Incomes: 10,014thMost Advanced Public Education: 10,753rdTop
10%
Most Efficient Economies: 12,212thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 12,937thHighest Disposable Incomes: 15,525thLargest Welfare Programs: 18,091stLargest Insurance Industry: 18,471stLargest Governments: 20,703rd
Top
1%
Largest Gambling Industry: 30th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 34th in the regionMost Avoided: 83rd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 83rd in the regionFattest Citizens: 101st in the regionTop
5%
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 108th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 124th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 186th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 187th in the regionLargest Black Market: 212th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 249th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 428th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 478th in the regionTop
10%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 531st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 569th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 641st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 662nd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 789th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 828th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 876th in the regionLargest Governments: 1,008th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Beta Couple, overweight people receive reparations checks from fast-food chains.
  • : Following new legislation in Beta Couple, city sidewalks are crowded with overweight people.
  • : Following new legislation in Beta Couple, citizens must pay to enjoy Beta Couple's pristine beaches.
  • : Following new legislation in Beta Couple, the practice of capital punishment proves divisive.
  • : Following new legislation in Beta Couple, most academic research has ground to a halt.
  • : Following new legislation in Beta Couple, military spending is on the increase.
  • : Following new legislation in Beta Couple, the government has declared its commitment to multilateralism.
  • : Following new legislation in Beta Couple, baby boys who pick up pink crayons are sent to a psychiatric ward.
  • : Following new legislation in Beta Couple, the roar of the Niagara 3000 mega-loo can be heard several blocks away.
  • : Following new legislation in Beta Couple, the nation refuses to provide international aid.

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