by Max Barry

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The Satanic Empire of Big Jim P

“Hell knows what Heaven only suspects. Hail Satan.” Lord Jim the Dark

Category: Father Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Eminence Grise

Location: Hell


Big Jim P

Population36.943 billion

CapitalBig Jim P City
LeaderLord Jim the Dark

AnimalBlack Goat of the Wood

The Satanic Empire of Big Jim P is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Lord Jim the Dark with an iron fist, and notable for its parental licensing program, irreverence towards religion, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 36.943 billion Big Jim Pians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Law & Order and Industry are also considered important, while Social Policy and Spirituality are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Big Jim P City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Big Jim Pian economy, worth an astonishing 12,790 trillion Bhaals a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Automobile Manufacturing, and Information Technology. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 346,217 Bhaals, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 989,827 per year while the poor average 96,458, a ratio of 10.3 to 1.

It's best to decline if Lord Jim the Dark offers to buy a round of drinks, there have been reports of people marrying housepets, fast-food chefs regularly win Health Innovation Awards for spitting on burgers, and historical commemorations regularly devolve into militaristic jingoism. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. Big Jim P's national animal is the Black Goat of the Wood, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Satanism.

Big Jim P is ranked 50,900th in the world and 48th in Hell for Most Stationary, with 261.6309783894 Days.

Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 201stHighest Economic Output: 239thLargest Populations: 397thHighest Disposable Incomes: 417thLargest Mining Sector: 456thLargest Gambling Industry: 631stLowest Overall Tax Burden: 667thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 777thLargest Agricultural Sector: 789thFattest Citizens: 1,000thHighest Average Incomes: 1,231stMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,662ndLargest Insurance Industry: 1,688thLargest Black Market: 1,751stMost Efficient Economies: 1,852ndLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,906thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,972ndHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 2,079thTop
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,086thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,099thMost Influential: 2,124thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2,230thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2,255thMost Avoided: 2,258thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2,291stLargest Publishing Industry: 2,444thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,621stRudest Citizens: 3,336thSmartest Citizens: 3,822ndLargest Retail Industry: 4,107thMost Corrupt Governments: 4,660thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 5,067thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 5,552ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 5,746thLargest Governments: 6,387thMost Armed: 8,722ndMost Scientifically Advanced: 9,117thHighest Poor Incomes: 10,333rdTop
Largest Information Technology Sector: 10,669thMost Secular: 14,653rdMost World Assembly Endorsements: 17,239thLowest Crime Rates: 17,841stNudest: 20,349th
Most Influential: 3rd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 4th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 4th in the regionFattest Citizens: 4th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 4th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 4th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 4th in the regionLargest Populations: 4th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 4th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 4th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 5th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 5th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 5th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 5th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Big Jim P was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry.
  • : Big Jim P was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Cheese Export Sector.
  • : Big Jim P was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Soda Pop Sector.
  • : Big Jim P was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Publishing Industry.
  • : Big Jim P was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Subsidized Industry.
  • : Big Jim P was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Avoided.
  • : Big Jim P was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Highest Wealthy Incomes.
  • : Big Jim P was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Poor Incomes.
  • : Big Jim P was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry and Most Advanced Defense Forces and the Top 5% for Largest Information Technology Sector.
  • : Big Jim P was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Influential, Highest Unexpected Death Rate, Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector, and Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry.


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 1 » The Stalker.

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