by Max Barry

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The Vampire Syndicate of Black Ivars

“Sex & Violence” Methuselah Ţepeș

Category: Father Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Page

Location: the South Pacific


Black Ivars

Population31.907 billion

LeaderMethuselah Ţepeș

Currencyblood litre

The Vampire Syndicate of Black Ivars is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Methuselah Ţepeș with an iron fist, and remarkable for its triple-decker prams, ubiquitous missile silos, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 31.907 billion Nosferatus are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Industry, Healthcare, and Education are also considered important, while Welfare and Social Policy receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Crypt. The average income tax rate is 66.6%.

The frighteningly efficient undead economy, worth a remarkable 8,222 trillion blood litres a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 257,713 blood litres, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.3 times as much as the poorest.

Casino tax breaks are even bigger than their jackpots, troublemakers boast about how many times they have to visit their therapist, many believe that Methuselah Ţepeș's head is big enough for the sun to orbit around it, and squeaky high prepubescent voices recite the patriotic poem "Hail to The Leader!" before each meal. Crime is a serious problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Black Ivars's national animal is the bat, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is necromancy.

Black Ivars is ranked 46,179th in the world and 1,866th in the South Pacific for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring 3,012.26 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.

Largest Black Market: 125thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 471stHighest Economic Output: 545thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 679thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 898thLargest Populations: 1,191stLargest Publishing Industry: 1,225thLargest Retail Industry: 1,457thTop
Largest Mining Sector: 1,565thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 1,710thMost Subsidized Industry: 1,838thMost Corrupt Governments: 2,171stMost Influential: 2,182ndMost Efficient Economies: 2,187thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2,531stHighest Average Incomes: 2,601stMost Armed: 2,685thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2,904thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 3,323rdMost Avoided: 3,735thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4,199thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5,341stHighest Poor Incomes: 6,030thLargest Gambling Industry: 7,466thTop
Highest Disposable Incomes: 8,391stMost Advanced Public Transport: 8,589thSmartest Citizens: 9,529thLargest Governments: 9,620thHighest Crime Rates: 12,817thMost Advanced Public Education: 14,089th
Largest Black Market: 4th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 9th in the regionLargest Populations: 10th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 11th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 11th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 19th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 26th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 29th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 34th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 46th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 49th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 55th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 56th in the regionMost Armed: 62nd in the regionTop
Largest Cheese Export Sector: 64th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 73rd in the regionMost Avoided: 87th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 88th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 95th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 117th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 170th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 189th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 203rd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 204th in the regionMost Influential: 223rd in the regionLargest Governments: 258th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 259th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 275th in the regionTop
Most Stationary: 324th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 347th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 405th in the regionRudest Citizens: 445th in the regionMost Developed: 490th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 550th in the region

National Happenings

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