The Please Don't Open That of Bleakfoot is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Governor Laithwaite Canker with an even hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, hatred of cheese, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, cheerful population of 11.054 billion Bleakfeet enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Winterharbour. The average income tax rate is 99.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Bleakfeese economy, worth a remarkable 2,001 trillion honks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 181,096 honks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Governor Laithwaite Canker's reputation is hard as nails, cyber-crime and tin-foil hat sales are both increasing at record rates, future leaders of Bleakfoot regularly dismiss pressing political issues when available options don't conform to their worldview, and a well-funded social safety net protects the unfortunate. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bleakfoot's national animal is the long pig, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Not opening things.

Bleakfoot is ranked 2,164^th in the world and 54^th in the South Pacific for Safest, scoring 144.16 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.