by Max Barry

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The Best Nation of Bonkbonk

“BONKBONK STOPS FOR NO ONE” God-Emperor Sklue Goefoe Fingledang

Category: Corrupt Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Below Average
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Outlawed

Regional Influence: Apprentice

Location: The League

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Bonkbonk

Population3.612 billion

CapitalPhlembelch
LeaderGod-Emperor Sklue Goefoe Fingledang
FaithSkluethleck

Currencyschnuckle
Animalgreat bonkbonkian explosive worm

The Best Nation of Bonkbonk is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by God-Emperor Sklue Goefoe Fingledang with an iron fist, and renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, complete lack of prisons, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.612 billion bonkbonkians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Administration, Law & Order, and Industry are also considered important, while International Aid isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Phlembelch. The average income tax rate is 82.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient bonkbonkian economy, worth 684 trillion schnuckles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Retail, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 189,615 schnuckles, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children have nightmares about the eerie red glow and constant whirring of newly-installed machines, medical staff can legally quiet people who ask for a second helping of Salisbury steak, cutting-edge missile systems are being retrofitted to twin-prop air force biplanes, and dozens of additional foreign policy specialists have been sent to the country's WA Mission. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bonkbonk's national animal is the great bonkbonkian explosive worm and its national religion is Skluethleck.

Bonkbonk is ranked 88,197th in the world and 40th in The League for Most Stationary, with 517.84232830292 days.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 2,824thTop
5%
Most Influential: 4,904thHighest Poor Incomes: 4,961stMost World Assembly Endorsements: 6,426thMost Valuable International Artwork: 6,574thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 7,226thMost Devout: 7,620thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 7,764thLargest Black Market: 8,648thMost Corrupt Governments: 9,600thMost Patriotic: 11,612thHighest Average Incomes: 11,842ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 12,088thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 13,483rdMost Advanced Public Transport: 14,256thTop
10%
Largest Mining Sector: 15,170thMost Scientifically Advanced: 15,179thMost Rebellious Youth: 15,432ndLargest Governments: 15,895thHighest Average Tax Rates: 16,335thLargest Retail Industry: 17,401stMost Developed: 18,248thMost Subsidized Industry: 18,661stMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 19,859thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 21,892ndMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 23,072ndMost Advanced Public Education: 23,384thMost Cultured: 23,396thLargest Information Technology Sector: 23,635thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 25,964thLongest Average Lifespans: 28,863rdMost Efficient Economies: 29,633rd
Top
5%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 7th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 10th in the regionLargest Black Market: 10th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 16th in the regionMost Devout: 17th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 17th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 19th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 19th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 21st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 22nd in the regionMost Patriotic: 23rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 23rd in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 24th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Mining Sector: 26th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 26th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 28th in the regionMost Influential: 29th in the regionLargest Governments: 29th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 30th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 31st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 31st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 34th in the regionMost Stationary: 40th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 43rd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 43rd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 44th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 46th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Bonkbonk was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Longest Average Lifespans.
  • : Following new legislation in Bonkbonk, dozens of additional foreign policy specialists have been sent to the country's WA Mission.
  • : Following new legislation in Bonkbonk, cutting-edge missile systems are being retrofitted to twin-prop air force biplanes.
  • : Following new legislation in Bonkbonk, medical staff can legally quiet people who ask for a second helping of Salisbury steak.
  • : Following new legislation in Bonkbonk, children have nightmares about the eerie red glow and constant whirring of newly-installed machines.
  • : Following new legislation in Bonkbonk, the nation's new religious police burn blasphemers on bonfires of their own books.
  • : Bonkbonk voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Statistical Data Practice".
  • : Following new legislation in Bonkbonk, AI citizens are criticized for being robotic.
  • : Following new legislation in Bonkbonk, it's entirely possible foreign diplomats misheard when Bonkbonk offered the words "peace be upon you".
  • : Following new legislation in Bonkbonk, no true communist is an unbeliever.

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