by Max Barry

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The Glorious Empire of Burning Pants


Category: Anarchy
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Apprentice

Location: Lazarus


Burning Pants

Population13.598 billion

LeaderThe King of Braves
FaithThe Oath Sworn Through Courage

AnimalFighting Mechanoid

The Glorious Empire of Burning Pants is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by The King of Braves with a fair hand, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, complete lack of prisons, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 13.598 billion Burner of Pants live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

There is no government in the normal sense of the word; however, a small group of community-minded, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken individuals juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of adventure. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Pants-Burner economy, worth a remarkable 4,348 trillion G-Stones a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 319,783 G-Stones, with the richest citizens earning 5.9 times as much as the poorest.

Aggressive promotion of global warming puts polar bears on thin ice, millions of simultaneously backfiring toilets have flooded adventure with effluent, the Pants-Burner Tourism Bureau has described the abolition of coastal defences as a "kick to the groyne", and schools offer a range of lessons in subjects as diverse as The Economics of Bullying for Lunch Money. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Burning Pants's national animal is the Fighting Mechanoid, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The Oath Sworn Through Courage.

Burning Pants is ranked 194th in the world and 5th in Lazarus for Most Avoided, scoring 2,976.64 on the Kardashian Reflex Score.

Rudest Citizens: 28thMost Rebellious Youth: 54thMost Armed: 71stHighest Crime Rates: 74thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 164thMost Avoided: 194thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 216thFattest Citizens: 237thLargest Retail Industry: 343rdHighest Disposable Incomes: 532ndLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 556thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 645thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 753rdLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 864thMost Scientifically Advanced: 866thLargest Information Technology Sector: 943rdLargest Gambling Industry: 967thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,019thMost Secular: 1,088thHighest Drug Use: 1,291stLargest Mining Sector: 1,306thMost Extensive Civil Rights: 1,375thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1,480thHighest Average Incomes: 1,590thMost Politically Free: 1,642ndLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,703rdMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,819thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,893rdTop
Most Influential: 2,247thHighest Economic Output: 2,325thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 2,524thSmartest Citizens: 2,755thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3,191stLargest Insurance Industry: 3,646thMost Efficient Economies: 5,887thHighest Poor Incomes: 6,620thLargest Publishing Industry: 7,616thNudest: 8,710thTop
Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 10,962ndMost Inclusive: 11,921stLargest Black Market: 12,314thMost Extreme: 12,338thMost Pro-Market: 13,843rdLargest Populations: 16,806th
Rudest Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 2nd in the regionMost Armed: 2nd in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 2nd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 4th in the regionMost Avoided: 5th in the regionFattest Citizens: 5th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 6th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 6th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 6th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 10th in the regionMost Politically Free: 11th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 18th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 28th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 29th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 30th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 32nd in the regionMost Influential: 33rd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 35th in the regionMost Secular: 39th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 41st in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 42nd in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 49th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 52nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 61st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 66th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 68th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 75th in the regionTop
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 88th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 90th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 107th in the regionMost Extreme: 112th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 122nd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 201st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 203rd in the regionMost Pro-Market: 237th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 269th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 312th in the regionNudest: 338th in the regionMost Stationary: 360th in the regionTop
Largest Publishing Industry: 411th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 527th in the regionLargest Populations: 537th in the regionMost Inclusive: 592nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 717th in the region

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