by Max Barry

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National Flag

The Royal Nuts of Cacheu

“c”

Category: New York Times Democracy
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Economy:
Reasonable
Political Freedoms:
Excellent

Regional Influence: Hatchling

Location: Osiris

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Cacheu

Population30.714 billion

CapitalCacheu
LeaderThe Leader of Cacheu

Currencyxof
Animallion

The Royal Nuts of Cacheu is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by The Leader of Cacheu with a fair hand, and renowned for its ban on automobiles, absence of drug laws, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, humorless population of 30.714 billion Cacheuans enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Social Policy, Education, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cacheu. The average income tax rate is 91.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The enormous but inefficient Cacheuan economy, worth a remarkable 1,874 trillion xofs a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Book Publishing industry. Average income is 61,032 xofs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Any citizen who cries is immediately assigned a psychiatrist, the government has hired out-of-work fashion designers to design purses for men, the government prefers to kill off its enemies by peaceful means, and most academic research has ground to a halt. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Cacheu's national animal is the lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Cacheu is ranked 6,804th in the world and 314th in Osiris for Most Cultured, scoring 142 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.

Top
1%
Nudest: 483rdMost Rebellious Youth: 1,909thLeast Corrupt Governments: 2,058thHighest Crime Rates: 2,554thTop
5%
Largest Populations: 4,072ndMost Advanced Public Education: 4,611thLargest Welfare Programs: 5,244thMost Cultured: 6,804thMost Pacifist: 7,384thHighest Average Tax Rates: 8,821stMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 9,232ndSmartest Citizens: 11,931stMost Beautiful Environments: 12,617thMost Compassionate Citizens: 13,284thHighest Economic Output: 13,460thHighest Food Quality: 13,890thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 14,464thLargest Black Market: 14,508thTop
10%
Most Inclusive: 16,413thHealthiest Citizens: 17,221stMost World Assembly Endorsements: 19,268thLargest Governments: 20,190thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 26,805thLongest Average Lifespans: 29,500th
Top
1%
Nudest: 16th in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 75th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 90th in the regionLargest Populations: 121st in the regionTop
5%
Highest Crime Rates: 166th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 210th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 272nd in the regionMost Cultured: 314th in the regionMost Pacifist: 414th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 483rd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 535th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 562nd in the regionTop
10%
Smartest Citizens: 641st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 737th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 739th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 775th in the regionHighest Food Quality: 776th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 827th in the regionMost Inclusive: 908th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 1,022nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 1,081st in the regionHighest Drug Use: 1,107th in the regionLargest Governments: 1,173rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Cacheu's influence in Osiris rose from "Unproven" to "Hatchling".
  • : Cacheu's influence in Osiris rose from "Zero" to "Unproven".
  • : Cacheu was refounded in Osiris.
  • : Cacheu ceased to exist in Balder.
  • : Cacheu was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Longest Average Lifespans.
  • : Cacheu was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Foreign Aid Spending.
  • : Cacheu's influence in Balder rose from "Unproven" to "Hatchling".
  • : Cacheu's influence in Balder rose from "Zero" to "Unproven".
  • : Cacheu was refounded in Balder.
  • : Cacheu ceased to exist in A Socialist Paradise.

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