by Max Barry

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The Rose Commune of Caelapes

“Ego vero custos mei fratris sum.”

Category: Left-wing Utopia
Civil Rights:
Superb
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Superb

Regional Influence: Handshaker

Location: The Internationale

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Caelapes

Population19.926 billion

CapitalScŠva
LeaderEster ScŠuola

Currencyrosarius
Animalblue-billed duck

The Rose Commune of Caelapes is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Ester ScŠuola with a fair hand, and remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, soft-spoken computers, and keen interest in outer space. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 19.926 billion Caelapenes are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, socially-minded government prioritizes Education, with Environment, Healthcare, and Welfare also on the agenda, while Spirituality is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of ScŠva. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Caelapitan economy, worth a remarkable 4,835 trillion rosariuses a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an amazing 242,679 rosariuses, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Referenda are held for every conceivable government action, the government has declared victoria over the cheese menace, the state auctions off combat drones to fund war reparations, and citizens are strongly encouraged to breathe less so as to limit the carbon footprint. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Caelapes's national animal is the blue-billed duck, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Caelapes is ranked 59,626th in the world and 63rd in The Internationale for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring 3,292.79 on the Hickory Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Public Education: 115thLargest Welfare Programs: 214thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 261stMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 267thHighest Average Tax Rates: 299thMost Inclusive: 319thMost Compassionate Citizens: 342ndMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 355thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 356thMost Developed: 361stLeast Corrupt Governments: 398thLongest Average Lifespans: 416thNicest Citizens: 433rdLargest Governments: 463rdMost Advanced Public Transport: 516thHealthiest Citizens: 522ndSmartest Citizens: 537thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 600thMost Beautiful Environments: 700thMost Pacifist: 787thLowest Crime Rates: 835thMost Subsidized Industry: 868thSafest: 929thMost Cultured: 931stHighest Poor Incomes: 964thBest Weather: 1,245thMost Efficient Economies: 1,583rdMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,642ndHighest Economic Output: 1,929thTop
5%
Most Cheerful Citizens: 2,099thMost Scientifically Advanced: 2,584thLargest Information Technology Sector: 3,507thHighest Average Incomes: 3,658thMost Influential: 4,775thLargest Publishing Industry: 4,857thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 5,051stMost Secular: 5,411thLargest Populations: 6,471stMost Income Equality: 9,292ndTop
10%
Most Armed: 11,255th
Top
5%
Highest Economic Output: 5th in the regionMost Influential: 5th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 6th in the regionLargest Populations: 6th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 6th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 6th in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 7th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 7th in the regionMost Developed: 7th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 7th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 8th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 8th in the regionMost Inclusive: 8th in the regionLargest Governments: 8th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 8th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 8th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 9th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 9th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 9th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 9th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 9th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 10th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 10th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 10th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 10th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 11th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 11th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 11th in the regionMost Cultured: 11th in the regionNicest Citizens: 12th in the regionSafest: 12th in the regionMost Pacifist: 12th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 12th in the regionBest Weather: 13th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 16th in the regionMost Armed: 17th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 20th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 21st in the regionTop
10%
Most Cheerful Citizens: 24th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 32nd in the region

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