by Max Barry

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The Particularly Grand Duchy of Caffeinneburg

“Hand Me the Gun and Ask Me Again”

Category: Democratic Socialists
Civil Rights:
Average
Economy:
Good
Political Freedoms:
Some

Regional Influence: Superpower

Location: North America

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Caffeinneburg

Population38.611 billion

CapitalCaffeinneburg City
LeaderArchduke Mister Chris VI

Currencyorichalk
Animalalzabo

The Particularly Grand Duchy of Caffeinneburg is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Archduke Mister Chris VI with an even hand, and remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, hatred of cheese, and compulsory gun ownership. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 38.611 billion Caffeinneburgians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The relatively small government is dominated by the Department of Defense, with Environment, Law & Order, and Education also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Public Transport receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Caffeinneburg City. The average income tax rate is 16.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Caffeinneburgian economy, worth a remarkable 1,533 trillion orichalks a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is mostly comprised of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 39,707 orichalks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Parents live in fear of governmental 'child protection' squads, the government is spending billions of taxpayer orichalks to support the Uranium Mining industry, fewer people are bathing as citizens must show ration stamps before they can turn on their faucets, and Caffeinneburg's soft-touch approach to diplomacy has made it known as the 'push-over' of the region. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Caffeinneburg's national animal is the alzabo, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Caffeinneburg is ranked 121,773rd in the world and 40th in North America for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 871.33 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.

Top
1%
Largest Populations: 7thMost Stationary: 246thBest Weather: 1,893rdMost Beautiful Environments: 1,934thMost Influential: 1,978thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,984thTop
5%
Most Popular Tourist Destinations: 3,815thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4,210thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 8,582ndMost Armed: 9,247thMost Cultured: 9,904thTop
10%
Highest Economic Output: 10,401stMost Secular: 10,991stMost Rebellious Youth: 13,541stMost World Assembly Endorsements: 15,675thLowest Crime Rates: 17,325thSmartest Citizens: 17,392ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 19,745th
Top
5%
Largest Populations: 1st in the regionMost Stationary: 1st in the regionMost Influential: 1st in the regionTop
10%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 3rd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 3rd in the regionBest Weather: 4th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 5th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 5th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Caffeinneburg was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Advanced Defense Forces and the Top 10% for Most Advanced Law Enforcement.
  • : Caffeinneburg was endorsed by The United Federation of Bicenriia.
  • : Caffeinneburg was reclassified from "Corrupt Dictatorship" to "Democratic Socialists".
  • : Caffeinneburg's influence in North America rose from "Power" to "Superpower".
  • : Caffeinneburg was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Longest Average Lifespans.
  • : Caffeinneburg was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Healthiest Citizens.
  • : Caffeinneburg was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Economic Output.
  • : Caffeinneburg was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Cultured.
  • : Caffeinneburg was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Beautiful Environments, Most Advanced Defense Forces, and Best Weather, the Top 5% for Most Secular, and the Top 10% for Most Advanced Law Enforcement.
  • : Caffeinneburg was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Eco-Friendly Governments.

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 1 » Free Quebec.

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