by Max Barry

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The Most Serene Eternal Republic of Calistan

“Hele mei hoohiwahiwa! Ho'olu komo la kaua!” Da Big Kahuna

Category: Father Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Squire

Location: the South Pacific



Population16.165 billion

CapitalAstro City
LeaderDa Big Kahuna


The Most Serene Eternal Republic of Calistan is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Da Big Kahuna with an iron fist, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, sprawling nuclear power plants, and smutty television. The compassionate, cynical, humorless population of 16.165 billion Caliwogs are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Education, with Environment, Industry, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Astro City. The average income tax rate is 69.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Cali economy, worth a remarkable 1,753 trillion Takoes a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Basket Weaving. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 108,498 Takoes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Attendance of fathers at PTA meetings is at an all-time high, convicted criminals are given free limo rides to jail, the moon's craters are more numerous every day, and dentists routinely perform open heart surgery. Crime is totally unknown. Calistan's national animal is the Kiwi, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Kahunaism.

Calistan is ranked 10,402nd in the world and 326th in the South Pacific for Most Developed, scoring 85.86 on the Human Development Index.

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 705thLargest Publishing Industry: 820thMost Influential: 1,035thMost Secular: 1,247thTop
Smartest Citizens: 5,087thMost Advanced Public Education: 5,608thMost Beautiful Environments: 5,771stMost Rebellious Youth: 6,153rdHighest Economic Output: 7,084thLargest Black Market: 7,334thMost Compassionate Citizens: 7,483rdLongest Average Lifespans: 7,536thTop
Largest Populations: 8,248thMost Advanced Public Transport: 8,249thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 8,313thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 8,603rdMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 9,022ndMost Cultured: 9,687thMost Developed: 10,402ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 11,103rdNicest Citizens: 11,260thMost Inclusive: 11,923rdHealthiest Citizens: 12,472ndMost Scientifically Advanced: 12,846thHighest Drug Use: 14,522nd
Largest Publishing Industry: 11th in the regionMost Secular: 49th in the regionTop
Largest Populations: 74th in the regionMost Influential: 79th in the regionLargest Black Market: 109th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 114th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 119th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 146th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 147th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 152nd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 175th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 176th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 229th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 242nd in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 272nd in the regionMost Cultured: 278th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 291st in the regionTop
Most Stationary: 308th in the regionMost Developed: 326th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 351st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 363rd in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 378th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 392nd in the regionNicest Citizens: 396th in the regionMost Inclusive: 427th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 478th in the regionBest Weather: 518th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 544th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 586th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Calistan endorsed The Republic of Pelland.
  • : Following new legislation in Calistan, dentists routinely perform open heart surgery.
  • : Following new legislation in Calistan, the moon's craters are more numerous every day.
  • : Calistan was endorsed by The Republic of Pelland.
  • : Calistan was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Black Market and Most Compassionate Citizens.
  • : Following new legislation in Calistan, convicted criminals are given free limo rides to jail.
  • : Following new legislation in Calistan, attendance of fathers at PTA meetings is at an all-time high.
  • : Calistan was reclassified from "Corrupt Dictatorship" to "Father Knows Best State".
  • : Following new legislation in Calistan, companies flee the nation rather than pay their fair share of taxes.
  • : Calistan was reclassified from "Father Knows Best State" to "Corrupt Dictatorship".


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 182 » Quiescent, Aidenfieeld, Pencil Sharpeners 2, Farengeto, Darakin, Kringalia, Sandaoguo, Hanguk-Nippon, Wyatonians, Jehenna, Linguiniland, The naked people, Luddinlande, Escevola, Tsunamy, Gabalux, Belschaft, Aywhyou, Poopisiya, La Ascension, Volaworand, Paranoia, Sedunn, Outer Utonixick Gollinican, The Solar System Scope, Tsvetania, East Sakhlin, Nankyoku Tairiku, Paenoa, Bentwaters, Ridehale, Lotadia, Pamela And Hepatitis, The Two Jerseys, Yellunstryer, Native Inhabitants of Antarctica, Lambdaland, Curlyhoward, Kiasu-ism, Terranous, Concrete Slab, Japanese Federal Republic, Cypheri, Uncastania, Nova Montron, Nothanksbutseriously, Runsiya, Pax Dracon, Lightmare, Oxsania, and 132 others.Holy Chimerland, Utondara, Barabarom, Drystar, Farelonia, Theorin, Gymnostan, Brendleton, RestartAll, WTP All the good names are taken, Walloonia, KIROVET, Madhonia, North Kanuckistan, The United Expanse, Blahblah2017, Seliyan progressive Islands, Sanden, Nowa Europa, Avalonica, Techganet, Ancient Slobovia, Noire Denholm, 073 039 109 032 080 111 112 112 121, Khazadine, Janapuri, Moreana, Center Lisle, Rebel-topia, St Oaks, Sagada, Anachronolandia, Bergenu, Rhetiaa, Bandorion, Fighting Kawi Ninja, Drugged Monkeys, Saciu, New Briantown, Silberne Wache, Sthalrim, Jaxon, Crabius, Soem, Great Andora, Jarilon, Centristvill, Democratic Parndia, Iristead, Mantas Meow, Trinennie, Soul Har, FreeFishers, Spazzhole, Bod Wareenaland, Erinor, Aumeltopia, Beepee, Atomic Garden, The Derpy Democratic Republic Of Herp, PASTIR, UnShleepd, Elveka, Lester Crest, The National Corporation, Shengtie, Isokenzar, USNE2018, Aurcania, Abarri, Aguatania, Cuuldere, Lorora3, Rabbitz, Kandorith, Direwolf1, Darbor, Xandev, Lulliland, Auphelia, Towi Lamia, The Libertarian Nation of Songrandine, Qvait, Whimichy, Uncomfortable nooks and crannies, Birdkeeper, Ariankido, Land Without Shrimp, North Prarie, Staubsaugen, Wehraboos, Stoniamera, Jahass, The Filippinas, Academy of Umbrellas, Ostanasia, North Catimestistrianes, Republic Clovakh, Akindom, Dasko, Pays de Loire, Mew Nation, Spearos, Agalaesia, Churumduul, Qawe, Unidum, Amerion, Wild Space, Great Africans, Phanama, P R of China, State of Iowa, World United, United Federated States of Omega, German Hapsburg, Negoshi, Westoc Kinness, Srevana, Jennaterra, The Sk8ing Unicorn, BootJack, Bedain, Kuddles, Imperial Duck, Upper Tyrconnel, Ketathinamiri Islands, Bomamani, South Whitica, Higash, Ratoninburg, and Pelland.

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