by Max Barry

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The Most Serene Eternal Republic of Calistan

“Hele mei hoohiwahiwa! Ho'olu komo la kaua!” Da Big Kahuna

Category: Iron Fist Socialists
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Squire

Location: the South Pacific



Population18.566 billion

CapitalAstro City
LeaderDa Big Kahuna


The Most Serene Eternal Republic of Calistan is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Da Big Kahuna with an iron fist, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, ban on automobiles, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, cynical, humorless population of 18.566 billion Caliwogs are ruled with an iron fist by the socialist government, which grants its people the freedom to do whatever they like so long as it doesn't involve getting richer than anybody else or challenging the government.

The large government is primarily concerned with Education, although Environment, Healthcare, and Industry are also considered important, while Spirituality is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Astro City. The average income tax rate is 77.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Cali economy, worth a remarkable 2,137 trillion Takoes a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 115,117 Takoes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Elementary school students are required to master Bach's Chaconne in D before graduation, religious people are committed to mental institutions for treatment, women who display their ankles are shunned by society, and a plague of zealots has been unleashed on the streets of Astro City. Crime is totally unknown. Calistan's national animal is the Kiwi, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Kahunaism.

Calistan is ranked 223,882nd in the world and 8,436th in the South Pacific for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -20.28 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.

Largest Publishing Industry: 826thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 979thMost Influential: 1,349thTop
Smartest Citizens: 4,016thMost Advanced Public Education: 4,194thMost Beautiful Environments: 4,492ndMost Secular: 5,693rdMost Rebellious Youth: 5,736thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 6,704thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 6,916thMost Compassionate Citizens: 6,968thHighest Economic Output: 6,982ndMost Cultured: 7,290thLargest Populations: 7,881stMost Advanced Public Transport: 8,293rdHealthiest Citizens: 8,912thNicest Citizens: 10,106thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 10,682ndBest Weather: 10,894thTop
Most Inclusive: 11,666thLongest Average Lifespans: 11,773rdMost Developed: 12,871stMost Stationary: 13,162ndHighest Poor Incomes: 13,607thLargest Information Technology Sector: 13,648thMost Scientifically Advanced: 16,047thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 16,080thMost Pacifist: 16,266thHighest Average Tax Rates: 16,699thLargest Governments: 16,866thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 17,836thHighest Drug Use: 19,590th
Largest Publishing Industry: 16th in the regionLargest Populations: 69th in the regionTop
Most Advanced Public Education: 120th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 127th in the regionMost Influential: 131st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 133rd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 137th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 149th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 151st in the regionMost Secular: 197th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 201st in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 207th in the regionMost Cultured: 209th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 225th in the regionMost Stationary: 232nd in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 246th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 287th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 292nd in the regionHighest Drug Use: 362nd in the regionNicest Citizens: 363rd in the regionBest Weather: 364th in the regionMost Developed: 372nd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 383rd in the regionMost Inclusive: 408th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 416th in the regionTop
Highest Poor Incomes: 434th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 465th in the regionLargest Governments: 484th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 535th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 650th in the regionMost Pacifist: 689th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 691st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 727th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 846th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 188 » Aidenfieeld, Pencil Sharpeners 2, Farengeto, Darakin, Kringalia, Sandaoguo, Hanguk-Nippon, Jehenna, Linguiniland, The naked people, Luddinlande, Escevola, Tsunamy, Belschaft, Aywhyou, Poopisiya, Volaworand, Sedunn, Outer Utonixick Gollinican, The Solar System Scope, Tsvetania, Ridehale, Pamela And Hepatitis, The Two Jerseys, Yellunstryer, Native Inhabitants of Antarctica, Curlyhoward, Kiasu-ism, Japanese Federal Republic, Cypheri, Nova Montron, Pax Dracon, Oxsania, Utondara, Barabarom, Drystar, Theorin, Gymnostan, RestartAll, Walloonia, Madhonia, North Kanuckistan, The United Expanse, Seliyan progressive Islands, Sanden, Nowa Europa, Avalonica, Techganet, Ancient Slobovia, Noire Denholm, and 138 others.073 039 109 032 080 111 112 112 121, Moreana, Center Lisle, Rebel-topia, St Oaks, Sagada, Bergenu, Fighting Kawi Ninja, Drugged Monkeys, Saciu, New Briantown, Silberne Wache, Sthalrim, Soem, Great Andora, Jarilon, Centristvill, Mantas Meow, FreeFishers, Spazzhole, Bod Wareenaland, Erinor, Aumeltopia, Beepee, Isokenzar, USNE2018, Aurcania, Abarri, Aguatania, Cuuldere, Kandorith, Direwolf1, Xandev, Auphelia, Qvait, Whimichy, Land Without Shrimp, Wehraboos, Stoniamera, The Filippinas, North Catimestistrianes, Dasko, Unidum, Amerion, German Hapsburg, Jennaterra, Imperial Duck, Omiri, Mapico, Empa Aserium, Noveos, Yeldarbsland, Astraee, Bear Connors Paradiso, Grand Kingdom of Zilean Empire, Nueva Alta California, Bleakfoot, Crystal Creation, Corgitopiaa, Tiransia, PenguinPies, The Tecorogan Federation, Terran Draconia, Bawkie, Fasire, Holy Free, Iym Winterless, Ebonhand, West Pastafaria, Anserisa, Humedo, Springhollow, Turks of The Eastern Calculus, CzechoSlovakishMoravia, Ralphburg, Axis Mundi, Page 53, Weryalachiressaraxiatopia, ChickenDome, Elan Sleazebaganno, Kervanosia, Marinho Islands, Markla, Shefino, Compli, The Worst army of, Royaltica, LadyRebels, Laamiva, Erimo, Well F, Trepsit, Efferalt, Valdutz, Myness, Weburya, Kedjens, Courletnia, Midand, Concrete Slab, Andinla, East Lodge, Gonrati, The SpaceNeo-Goryeo Etymological Society, Catillos, Western Fardelshufflestein, Les Slokovia, Terreno Travato, Merevane, Philippinia, Delian Gol, Tepertopia, Qawe, Phanama, Purple Hyacinth, Bartonia Nova, Venestralia, House Ahsanul, Ovkianos, North Lauchyperpsonity, Drazilazi, Zaelith, Kaoia, Klobitien, Ofaria, Zataras, Alfama, Zuleit, Seythennia, Rabbitz, Vanbella, Integria, Eskvenn, Novum Sina, Jazzfrezia, Ferrhibium, Greater Scottyda Isles, and Imperial Dodo.

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