The Principality of Calumet City is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Cal U Met with an even hand, and renowned for its rampant corporate plagiarism and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 14.565 billion Calumet Cityians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Chicago. The average income tax rate is 39.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Calumet Cityian economy, worth 659 trillion picayunes a year, is led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Pizza Delivery, Furniture Restoration, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 45,297 picayunes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

The "Underwear of Women in Power" issue of The Chicago Times is sold out, religion is strictly forbidden within school grounds, poaching has been on the rise after animals from the nation's zoos were released into the wild, and all work and no play has rendered the nation's children somewhat intelligent but also remarkably dull. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Calumet City's national animal is the calumation, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Bokononism.

Calumet City is ranked 256,759^th in the world and 3^rd in Calumet City for Most Extreme, scoring 9.68 on the Paul-Nader Subjective Decentrality Index.