by Max Barry

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The Woodhouse Sanctum of Camel-crickets of Mauritania

“Skin on skin, let the love begin”

Category: Father Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Some
Economy:
All-Consuming
Political Freedoms:
Few

Regional Influence: Hermit

Location: The Reich Republic of Europa

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Camel-crickets of Mauritania

Population5.857 billion

CapitalRetribution

Currency$$
AnimalDeath-head hawkmoth

The Woodhouse Sanctum of Camel-crickets of Mauritania is a colossal, efficient nation, renowned for its frequent executions, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 5.857 billion Camel-crickets of Mauritanians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Retribution. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 72.3%.

The all-consuming Camel-crickets of Mauritanian economy, worth 491 trillion $$s a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Basket Weaving. Average income is 83,921 $$s, with the richest citizens earning 6.3 times as much as the poorest.

Parents often leave their kids in the car while they attend mindfulness meditation sessions, politicians are forced to wear portable lie detectors at all times, pretending to be prejudiced is a good way to get out of jury duty, and retail stores have reported mile-long lines after the ban on video games was lifted. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Camel-crickets of Mauritania's national animal is the Death-head hawkmoth, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Camel-crickets of Mauritania is ranked 13,171st in the world and 1st in The Reich Republic of Europa for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 1,542.21 on the Clooney Contribution Index.

Top
10%
Most Cheerful Citizens: 12,405thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 13,171stMost Devout: 15,545thLargest Welfare Programs: 15,899thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 16,758thMost Cultured: 17,787thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 18,237thNicest Citizens: 19,088thSafest: 21,511thMost Stationary: 21,635thMost Compassionate Citizens: 21,705thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 21,993rd

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Camel-crickets of Mauritania was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Safest, Most Advanced Law Enforcement, and Most Compassionate Citizens.
  • : Following new legislation in Camel-crickets of Mauritania, retail stores have reported mile-long lines after the ban on video games was lifted.
  • : Following new legislation in Camel-crickets of Mauritania, pretending to be prejudiced is a good way to get out of jury duty.
  • : Following new legislation in Camel-crickets of Mauritania, politicians are forced to wear portable lie detectors at all times.
  • : Following new legislation in Camel-crickets of Mauritania, parents often leave their kids in the car while they attend mindfulness meditation sessions.
  • : Following new legislation in Camel-crickets of Mauritania, Leader's exquisite office door is replaced monthly due to angry petitioners.
  • : Camel-crickets of Mauritania was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Stationary.
  • : Camel-crickets of Mauritania was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Advanced Law Enforcement.
  • : Following new legislation in Camel-crickets of Mauritania, everyone suspects that everyone else is a terrorist.
  • : Following new legislation in Camel-crickets of Mauritania, five-year-olds chanting "Little Miss Muffet" are accused of bullying arachnophobes.

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