by Max Barry

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The Fat of Captain Lard

“I am fat” fat mario

Category: Corporate Police State
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Diplomat

Location: Lardyland


Captain Lard

Population6.527 billion

CapitalOutKast Hey Ya
Leaderfat mario
FaithOutKast Hey Ya

CurrencyOutKast Hey Ya
AnimalOutKast Hey Ya

The Fat of Captain Lard is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by fat mario with an iron fist, and remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, sprawling nuclear power plants, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 6.527 billion Captain Lardians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Law & Order, and Education are also considered important, while Environment and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of OutKast Hey Ya. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Captain Lardian economy, worth a remarkable 1,786 trillion OutKast Hey Yas a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an amazing 273,696 OutKast Hey Yas, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,428,418 per year while the poor average 4,266, a ratio of 569 to 1.

Not showing enough enthusiasm for mutual assured destruction is a court-martial offence, game show contestants scramble to fish trash out of the South OutKast Hey Ya Sea, diplomatic fallout tends to be much more dangerous than radioactive fallout, and the nation is wading into dangerous waters. Crime is a major problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Captain Lard's national animal is the OutKast Hey Ya, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is OutKast Hey Ya.

Captain Lard is ranked 210,731st in the world and 41st in Lardyland for Most Politically Free, scoring 15.71 on the Diebold Election Inking Scale.

Most Valuable International Artwork: 205thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 340thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 514thFattest Citizens: 521stMost Avoided: 585thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 690thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 893rdLargest Retail Industry: 895thHighest Disposable Incomes: 1,026thLargest Insurance Industry: 1,104thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,105thMost Secular: 1,157thMost Armed: 1,200thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,416thLargest Mining Sector: 1,760thRudest Citizens: 2,063rdLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,406thTop
Most Efficient Economies: 2,425thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2,435thHighest Average Incomes: 2,746thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,881stLargest Gambling Industry: 3,292ndLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3,391stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3,951stMost Scientifically Advanced: 4,024thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4,303rdLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4,672ndLargest Agricultural Sector: 4,726thHighest Crime Rates: 5,246thLargest Information Technology Sector: 5,756thNudest: 6,643rdLargest Black Market: 6,683rdMost Subsidized Industry: 9,360thHighest Economic Output: 9,402ndLargest Governments: 11,914thTop
Smartest Citizens: 15,979thMost Conservative: 20,975th
Largest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionNudest: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 2nd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 2nd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 2nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 2nd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 2nd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2nd in the regionTop
Largest Governments: 3rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 3rd in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 3rd in the regionLargest Populations: 4th in the region

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