by Max Barry

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The Maxwell of Captain Lard


Category: Corporate Police State
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Handshaker

Location: Lardyland


Captain Lard

Population5.13 billion

CapitalOutKast Hey Ya
FaithOutKast Hey Ya

CurrencyOutKast Hey Ya
AnimalOutKast Hey Ya

The Maxwell of Captain Lard is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by maxwell with an iron fist, and renowned for its digital currency, free-roaming dinosaurs, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 5.13 billion Captain Lardians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Industry, Law & Order, and Education also on the agenda, while Environment and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of OutKast Hey Ya. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 7.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Captain Lardian economy, worth a remarkable 1,382 trillion OutKast Hey Yas a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an amazing 269,398 OutKast Hey Yas, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,481,609 per year while the poor average 2,959, a ratio of 838 to 1.

Electricity company executives pray nightly to Zeus and Thor, the latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller, heroes long thought dead are promptly killed upon their return, and many of the poor live from cradle to grave without ever seeing sunlight. Crime is a major problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Captain Lard's national animal is the OutKast Hey Ya, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is OutKast Hey Ya.

Captain Lard is ranked 44,255th in the world and 10th in Lardyland for Most Developed, scoring 66.05 on the Human Development Index.

Most Valuable International Artwork: 59thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 272ndHighest Wealthy Incomes: 355thFattest Citizens: 495thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 510thMost Avoided: 560thLargest Retail Industry: 844thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 918thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,007thMost Secular: 1,031stHighest Disposable Incomes: 1,064thMost Armed: 1,102ndLargest Insurance Industry: 1,179thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,324thRudest Citizens: 1,460thLargest Mining Sector: 1,578thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,055thTop
Most Efficient Economies: 2,191stLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2,518thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,586thHighest Average Incomes: 2,724thLargest Gambling Industry: 2,803rdLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3,432ndHighest Crime Rates: 3,631stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3,903rdMost Scientifically Advanced: 4,048thLargest Agricultural Sector: 4,214thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4,248thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4,578thLargest Information Technology Sector: 5,666thNudest: 5,857thLargest Black Market: 7,088thMost Subsidized Industry: 8,486thTop
Largest Governments: 11,445thHighest Economic Output: 11,678thSmartest Citizens: 15,805th
Largest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionNudest: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 1st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 1st in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 2nd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2nd in the regionTop
Largest Governments: 3rd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 3rd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 4th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 4th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 5th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 5th in the region

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