The Queen's State of Cardinal North is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its state-planned economy, restrictive gun laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 19.432 billion Cardinal Northians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Welfare, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 73.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but stagnant Cardinal Northian economy, worth 80.1 trillion betales a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Cheese Exports, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 4,120 betales, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Nudity is frowned upon, elections have been outlawed, and TV shows must meet strict ethnicity quotas. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cardinal North's national animal is the deer, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Cardinal North is ranked 134,181^st in the world and 7^th in The Six Counties of Ulster for Most Primitive, scoring -38.47 on the Scary Big Number Scale.