The Empire of Castilistan is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by General Admiral John the Great with an iron fist, and remarkable for its otherworldly petting zoo, irreverence towards religion, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 5.675 billion Castilistanians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vincula City. The average income tax rate is 95.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Castilistanian economy, worth 859 trillion Castilistanian Rubles a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 151,452 Castilistanian Rubles, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Vincula City has restaurants serving every meat from aardvark to zebra, surgical tape has taken on a distinctly red color, binoculars sales are at an all-time high, and safety warnings are prohibited lest they give people ideas. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Castilistan's national animal is the Bear, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Castilistan is ranked 265,336^th in the world and 5^th in Aevum Interventu for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 40.53 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.