by Max Barry

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The Empire of Cathy Myschittland

“Mandatory Reptile Companionship”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Sprat

Location: The North Pacific


Cathy Myschittland

Population1.004 billion


The Empire of Cathy Myschittland is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its lack of airports, free-roaming dinosaurs, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 1.004 billion Cathy Myschittlandians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 84.7%.

The strong Cathy Myschittlandian economy, worth 83.9 trillion schitts a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, quite specialized black market in Information Technology, Uranium Mining, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 83,544 schitts, with the richest citizens earning 7.0 times as much as the poorest.

No one believes anything until it has been strenuously tested and peer-reviewed, young children are learning advanced physics to scientifically disprove the existence of Santa Claus, all work and no play has rendered the nation's children somewhat intelligent but also remarkably dull, and the nation's official head of religious affairs is an atheist. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cathy Myschittland's national animal is the blobfish, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Cathy Myschittland is ranked 197,036th in the world and 8,099th in The North Pacific for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring -5.29 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 1,356thTop
Most Influential: 3,424thNudest: 4,070thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 6,946thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 8,925thMost Corrupt Governments: 8,935thMost Conservative: 9,654thMost Authoritarian: 9,743rdHighest Average Tax Rates: 12,000thTop
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 13,788thLargest Welfare Programs: 14,233rdMost Advanced Public Transport: 14,571stMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 15,236thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 15,395thMost Beautiful Environments: 16,019thLowest Crime Rates: 16,368thMost Secular: 16,671stBest Weather: 17,892ndMost Advanced Public Education: 18,335thMost Valuable International Artwork: 19,448thLargest Governments: 19,507thLargest Black Market: 19,731stMost Advanced Defense Forces: 22,864thLargest Mining Sector: 23,592ndMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 23,620th
Nudest: 122nd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 332nd in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 378th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 424th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 470th in the regionTop
Most Conservative: 509th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 586th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 653rd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 676th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 678th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 714th in the regionLargest Black Market: 748th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 843rd in the regionMost Secular: 847th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 851st in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 865th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 880th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 906th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 927th in the regionLargest Governments: 955th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 966th in the regionMost Influential: 977th in the regionBest Weather: 987th in the regionMost Extreme: 990th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 163 » Goblin Gang, Aerilia, Sevinland, Shibutani, Orado, Koda-Land, Valentine Z, Hamerica, Lulubellia, Empy, Navsland, East Akra, The Tampa Bay Rays, Kazoo Basin, Holy Oranz, Pytong, Yaorozu, Eri-Maqa-Ena, Notyoutopia, Great Bights Mum, Sundred, The Rhein States, Odelinor, Dar es Saalam, Dreadton, Kragsgale, Loutsland, Bankowiata, Selfgradatude, Guer Aike, North Bratislava, Kocherian, Votak Matim, Siwale, Slyakanya, Corfad, Imperial Pieserged, Former English Colony, Newpromisedland, Republica Guilleana, Zzozona, Territorio di Nessuno, Hardscrabble, Brucklania, Panama Coalition, Omnistria, Yokciq Empire, The Serdey Islands, New Lakemba, Interdimensional Zone, and 113 others.Kranostav, Draconian Progression, Andexia, Pasargad, Cretox State, The Pantheons, Heilhum Imperius, Deum Higle, Venicea, Shadowrik, Sunto, 1 very fast endotarter, Sil Dorsett, Wineclaw, The Pleiads, Ethnon, Fauzjhia, Ravendi, Frances Francis the First of France, Nodnarb, Nova Arcania, Godwanna, Shinjuku tokyo 0, Daiz, The Jerichowan Country, Xipher, Tvers, Chukstik Illahi, Sikol, Climeria, Yellops, Ozstan, Joodey, Seijitsu, The Democratic Kingdom Of Skaraborg, Blyskalia, Colfes, Pallaith, Port Naga, Hewani, Patrician, Darkmondoria, The Iron Lions, United Kahndaq, Svenskskit, Libertania Democratica, Strongwill, His Enduring Majesty, Bharathvarsh, Wisconsota, Illusia and Neverendia, Galbadiana, Xagill, Xentherida, Ellbonnia, Runeda, Madjack, Planes, The Mazur Empire, El Fiji Grande, The Endless Eventide, Sachi, The AnCap Pirate Utopia, Star Kingdom, McMasterdonia, Moubarakistan, Chips and Guac, Wilkshire, Glurponia, Vesteysia, Barabolia, Otakus and Weebs, Svenskan, Francois Isidore, Nuronte, Aoncarpa, Valgarda, Kromi, Zemnaya Svoboda, Figyjharli, Dangine, Maott, Sanjurika, Wapistan, Travislavania, Trumpski, Nalver And, Greater Afroeurasia, Questann, Lol2639, Siforpeo, Shotokonia, Simone Republic, Super Girl, Austrian Confederacy, BTProductions, Alexander the Magnus, Aryan Homeland, Xyrron, Steampunk Ariel, Mon Island, Clan Spaniel, Religioncord, Tyirza, Defense For The World Assembly, Centrialand, New Celoveniortan, Siberian Workforce, Tsandonown, Korean-Joseon, The Calabash Protectorate, Uzbek Khan, and Seanat.

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