by Max Barry

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The Congressional Republic of Cauva

“The Freer the Market, The Freer The People.”

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Some
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Few

Regional Influence: Superpower

Location: Cavardille

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Cauva

Population1.713 billion

CapitalCorwen

Currencycauvan credit ȼ
AnimalTasseled wobbegong

The Congressional Republic of Cauva is a massive, efficient nation, renowned for its pith helmet sales, irreverence towards religion, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 1.713 billion Cauvans are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The tiny, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Healthcare, and Administration are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Corwen. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 6.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Cauvan economy, worth 214 trillion cauvan credit ȼs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Information Technology, and Retail. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an impressive 125,002 cauvan credit ȼs, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 558,754 per year while the poor average 17,344, a ratio of 32.2 to 1.

Legislators toe the party line lest the Sergeant-at-Arms decide to conduct "truncheon practice" on the backbench, young children are regularly seen wagering pocket money at blackjack tables, a milk bath costs more than bathing in money, and not showing enough enthusiasm for mutual assured destruction is a court-martial offence. Crime is pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Cauva's national animal is the Tasseled wobbegong, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Cauva is ranked 180,092nd in the world and 5th in Cavardille for Most Politically Free, scoring 35.62 on the Diebold Election Inking Scale.

Top
1%
Largest Gambling Industry: 1,503rdHighest Crime Rates: 2,332ndTop
5%
Fattest Citizens: 2,977thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 3,126thMost Avoided: 3,680thHighest Disposable Incomes: 4,515thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5,352ndLargest Soda Pop Sector: 5,370thMost Armed: 5,575thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 6,656thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 7,121stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 7,180thRudest Citizens: 7,621stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 10,070thTop
10%
Largest Retail Industry: 12,606thMost Corrupt Governments: 13,369thMost Valuable International Artwork: 14,644thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 15,057thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 18,296thLargest Mining Sector: 18,648thMost Efficient Economies: 20,436thHighest Average Incomes: 21,577thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 21,989thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 23,334th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Cauva's influence in Cavardille fell from "Dominator" to "Superpower".
  • : Cauva's influence in Cavardille rose from "Superpower" to "Dominator".
  • : Cauva's influence in Cavardille fell from "Dominator" to "Superpower".
  • : Cauva relocated from Ursprunopa to Cavardille.
  • : Cauva relocated from Cavardille to Ursprunopa.
  • : Cauva's influence in Cavardille fell from "Hermit" to "Dominator".
  • : Cauva's influence in Cavardille rose from "Zero" to "Hermit".
  • : Cauva was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Gambling Industry.
  • : Following new legislation in Cauva, not showing enough enthusiasm for mutual assured destruction is a court-martial offence.
  • : Following new legislation in Cauva, a milk bath costs more than bathing in money.

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