by Max Barry

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The CookiEvee of CaveDweller

“Balance your Virtues” Cooki

Category: Corporate Bordello
Civil Rights:
Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Superb

Regional Influence: Hatchling

Location: the Pacific

OverviewDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

CaveDweller

Population12.462 billion

CapitalCooki
LeaderCooki
FaithMaths

CurrencyCookie
AnimalDog

The CookiEvee of CaveDweller is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Cooki with a fair hand, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, enslaved workforce, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless, devout population of 12.462 billion Cooks are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is dominated by the Department of Industry, although Education, Administration, and Spirituality are also considered important, while Environment and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cooki. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 1.5%.

The frighteningly efficient CaveDwellerian economy, worth a remarkable 2,536 trillion Cookies a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Soda Sales, Gambling, and Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 203,562 Cookies, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,856,846 per year while the poor average 2,478, a ratio of 749 to 1.

Residents of newly dried out bays live in fear of leaky dikes, gossip magazines have been replaced by mask catalogs, the police have nothing to do with the increasing number of 'disappeared', and foreign ambassadors are accused of stealing CaveDwellerian jobs. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. CaveDweller's national animal is the Dog, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Maths.

CaveDweller is ranked 209,185th in the world and 2,119th in the Pacific for Most Stationary, with 37.47819129172 days.

Top
1%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 67thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 358thRudest Citizens: 386thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 391stHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 698thFattest Citizens: 723rdMost Armed: 777thHighest Crime Rates: 781stHighest Wealthy Incomes: 823rdLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,071stLargest Gambling Industry: 1,178thMost Avoided: 1,228thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,385thHighest Disposable Incomes: 1,656thLargest Retail Industry: 1,994thMost Pro-Market: 2,134thMost Rebellious Youth: 2,155thMost Devout: 2,239thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 2,314thTop
5%
Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 4,568thMost Efficient Economies: 5,432ndLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 6,512thMost Corrupt Governments: 7,629thHighest Economic Output: 9,020thHighest Average Incomes: 9,628thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 11,772ndTop
10%
Most Cultured: 16,400thMost Subsidized Industry: 16,576thMost Scientifically Advanced: 18,101stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 20,544thLargest Publishing Industry: 21,463rdLargest Cheese Export Sector: 25,010thSmartest Citizens: 25,783rd
Top
1%
Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 3rd in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 3rd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 5th in the regionRudest Citizens: 6th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 7th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 10th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 10th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 11th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 12th in the regionFattest Citizens: 13th in the regionMost Armed: 14th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 16th in the regionMost Avoided: 20th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 22nd in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 22nd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 24th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 30th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 35th in the regionMost Devout: 38th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 44th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 69th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 85th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 90th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 123rd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 147th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 164th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 227th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 228th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Populations: 239th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 244th in the regionLargest Black Market: 293rd in the regionMost Cultured: 325th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 329th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 378th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 382nd in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 399th in the region

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