The Fiefdom of Celliwig is a huge, efficient nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service, avowedly heterosexual populace, and aversion to nipples. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 680 million Celliwigians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Agartha. The average income tax rate is 75.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The very strong Celliwigian economy, worth 65.3 trillion Rapats a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 96,100 Rapats, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The television adaptation of Jennifer Government is the most popular program in the nation, plain-clothes police officers follow Dàguó tourists everywhere they go, requests to "pass the salt" are supported by tank divisions, and the government subsidises medicines of mass destruction. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Celliwig's national animal is the Golden Eagle, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities.

Celliwig is ranked 279,198^th in the world and 1,375^th in Europe for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring -6.32 on the Hickory Productivity Index.