by Max Barry

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The Malthusian Fecundity of Celtic Rodents

“United we stand, divided, we scamper about”

Category: Anarchy
Civil Rights:
Frightening
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Corrupted

Regional Influence: Nipper

Location: The North Pacific

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Celtic Rodents

Population33.195 billion

CapitalEverywhere
LeaderThe Ultimate Squeaker
FaithNone

Currencymythical groat
Animalsmall furry beastie

The Malthusian Fecundity of Celtic Rodents is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by The Ultimate Squeaker with a fair hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, smutty television, and unlimited-speed roads. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 33.195 billion Scurriers live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Education, with Administration and Industry also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Law & Order aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Everywhere. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Scurrian economy, worth a remarkable 7,945 trillion mythical groats a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Retail. Average income is an amazing 239,361 mythical groats, with the richest citizens earning 5.6 times as much as the poorest.

The alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit, young children are learning advanced physics to scientifically disprove the existence of Santa Claus, televangelists flaunt their expensive cars when they attend charity events, and children often explain to their parents that the Mega Ultimate Sword Fist was worth the thousand-mythical groat charge on their phone bill. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Celtic Rodents's national animal is the small furry beastie, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is None.

Celtic Rodents is ranked 206,728th in the world and 9,092nd in The North Pacific for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring -35.83 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Most Rebellious Youth: 33rdHighest Crime Rates: 40thMost Armed: 55thRudest Citizens: 98thLargest Publishing Industry: 224thLargest Information Technology Sector: 305thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 387thMost Secular: 575thMost Scientifically Advanced: 613thLeast Corrupt Governments: 673rdHighest Economic Output: 704thMost Avoided: 706thLargest Retail Industry: 746thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 895thMost Inclusive: 994thMost Cheerful Citizens: 1,046thSmartest Citizens: 1,154thHighest Disposable Incomes: 1,156thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,183rdFattest Citizens: 1,247thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1,335thLargest Populations: 1,337thHighest Drug Use: 1,595thMost Politically Free: 1,735thTop
5%
Most Cultured: 2,581stHighest Average Incomes: 3,800thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5,482ndLargest Soda Pop Sector: 5,554thMost Efficient Economies: 6,435thNudest: 8,869thLargest Black Market: 9,838thTop
10%
Most Stationary: 10,944thMost Extensive Civil Rights: 12,195thHighest Poor Incomes: 12,489thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 14,312thMost Extreme: 15,067thMost Influential: 15,375thMost Advanced Public Education: 16,939thMost Pro-Market: 17,075thLargest Gambling Industry: 17,422ndMost World Assembly Endorsements: 18,452nd
Top
1%
Highest Crime Rates: 2nd in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 2nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 3rd in the regionMost Armed: 3rd in the regionMost Politically Free: 6th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 8th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 15th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 15th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 16th in the regionMost Avoided: 20th in the regionLargest Populations: 23rd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 23rd in the regionMost Secular: 24th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 26th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 31st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 34th in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 38th in the regionFattest Citizens: 38th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 42nd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 43rd in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 48th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 59th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 69th in the regionMost Inclusive: 70th in the regionTop
5%
Most Extensive Civil Rights: 108th in the regionMost Cultured: 130th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 187th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 188th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 226th in the regionMost Extreme: 234th in the regionMost Stationary: 241st in the regionMost Pro-Market: 319th in the regionNudest: 337th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 355th in the regionLargest Black Market: 375th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 597th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 698th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 699th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 867th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Celtic Rodents, children often explain to their parents that the Mega Ultimate Sword Fist was worth the thousand-mythical groat charge on their phone bill.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtic Rodents, televangelists flaunt their expensive cars when they attend charity events.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtic Rodents, young children are learning advanced physics to scientifically disprove the existence of Santa Claus.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtic Rodents, the alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtic Rodents, mandatory state-funded classes teach Libertarianism.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtic Rodents, the mood of raunchy movies is often ruined by the sound of babies crying.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtic Rodents, they say that Scurriers made a dessert and called it peace.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtic Rodents, The Ultimate Squeaker lives life on the open road - complete with groupies.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtic Rodents, government ministers sport new billboards that read 'Will Trade Votes for Private Members' Bill Support'.
  • : Following new legislation in Celtic Rodents, photographers can be found hiding behind the curtains in The Ultimate Squeaker's bedroom.

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