The Kingdom of Cerumpire is a colossal, orderly nation, remarkable for its ban on automobiles, vat-grown people, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.521 billion Cerumpireans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Industry. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 33.9%.

The all-consuming Cerumpirean economy, worth 632 trillion euros a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Gambling, and Information Technology. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is 84,055 euros, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 379,100 per year while the poor average 11,476, a ratio of 33.0 to 1.

Vehicular homicide by Cerumpirean ambassadors is a leading cause of death throughout the world's capital cities, government popup ads are springing up like weeds, there's a bustling black market for vegetables, and arthritic surgeons with tremulous fingers reassure patients that they are in safe hands. Crime, especially youth-related, is well under control, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cerumpire's national animal is the cat, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Cerumpire is ranked 302,506^th in the world and 218^th in Jihad Army of the Emperor for Nudest, with 15 cheeks per square mile.