by Max Barry

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The Communist Utopia of Chads United

“How many Nazi scalps have you collected today?” GigaChad

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Outlawed
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Outlawed

Regional Influence: Sprat

Location: the Rejected Realms

OverviewDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Chads United

Population4.771 billion

CapitalMonolith
LeaderGigaChad
FaithThe State

CurrencyNazi scalp
Animalkulak

The Communist Utopia of Chads United is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by GigaChad with an iron fist, and notable for its closed borders, ubiquitous missile silos, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 4.771 billion Chads are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Monolith. The average income tax rate is 99.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Chad economy, worth a remarkable 1,203 trillion Nazi scalps a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 252,326 Nazi scalps, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The importance of winning Olympic gold medals is indoctrinated from an early age, clowns are being rounded up and admitted to mental institutions, paranoid museum guards keep a lookout for any animated displays attempting to escape the premises after dark, and the Chad government claim that Chads are oppressed out of love. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Chads United's national animal is the kulak, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is The State.

Chads United is ranked 30,873rd in the world and 565th in the Rejected Realms for Most Influential, scoring 971 on the Soft Power Disbursement Rating.

Top
1%
Most Extreme: 2ndMost Authoritarian: 150thMost Conservative: 225thMost Income Equality: 409thMost Secular: 522ndSafest: 571stHighest Poor Incomes: 633rdMost Developed: 657thLowest Crime Rates: 673rdMost Efficient Economies: 703rdMost Subsidized Industry: 737thLongest Average Lifespans: 744thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 964thHighest Average Tax Rates: 1,003rdHealthiest Citizens: 1,010thMost Beautiful Environments: 1,036thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1,052ndBest Weather: 1,162ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 1,169thLargest Governments: 1,251stSmartest Citizens: 1,279thMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,290thMost Advanced Public Education: 1,637thLargest Agricultural Sector: 1,665thMost Scientifically Advanced: 1,760thMost Cultured: 1,848thTop
5%
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 2,356thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2,427thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3,221stHighest Average Incomes: 3,283rdLargest Publishing Industry: 4,874thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 5,592ndMost Advanced Defense Forces: 8,584thTop
10%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 11,464thLargest Welfare Programs: 13,597thHighest Economic Output: 13,979thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 15,570th
Top
1%
Most Extreme: 1st in the regionMost Conservative: 6th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 6th in the regionMost Income Equality: 10th in the regionSafest: 21st in the regionMost Developed: 22nd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 25th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 25th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 26th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 26th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 28th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 28th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 29th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 29th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 29th in the regionMost Secular: 29th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 32nd in the regionBest Weather: 34th in the regionLargest Governments: 35th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 36th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 38th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 41st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 45th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 51st in the regionMost Cultured: 52nd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 54th in the regionTop
5%
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 66th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 67th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 97th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 111th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 177th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 248th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 250th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 293rd in the regionTop
10%
Highest Economic Output: 321st in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 338th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 431st in the regionMost Stationary: 533rd in the regionMost Influential: 565th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Chads United, the Chad government claim that Chads are oppressed out of love.
  • : Following new legislation in Chads United, paranoid museum guards keep a lookout for any animated displays attempting to escape the premises after dark.
  • : Following new legislation in Chads United, clowns are being rounded up and admitted to mental institutions.
  • : Following new legislation in Chads United, the importance of winning Olympic gold medals is indoctrinated from an early age.
  • : Following new legislation in Chads United, government employees from Chads United dominate international lumberjack competitions.
  • : Following new legislation in Chads United, business meetings across the country are interrupted by the sound of squeaking whoopee-cushions.
  • : Following new legislation in Chads United, the phrase 'spreading like wildfire' is no longer in the public lexicon.
  • : Following new legislation in Chads United, the police have reaffirmed their tough stance on drugs.
  • : Following new legislation in Chads United, the family summer vacation has become a thing of the past following the introduction of the year-round school year.
  • : Following new legislation in Chads United, explicit slash fiction is repackaged for kindergarten kids as stories about friends cuddling friends.

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